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Now’s your chance to pivot

How have you been managing?
I promise that I have been thinking of you all even though I haven’t been writing. There’s been lots to process for all of us and of course we each do that in our own way. Enduring a number of significant changes in a short space of time can really take it out of you, right?

Change is tiring.

I decided to take a number of things off my to-do list for a while in order to manage my own health. I hope you are doing the same. This is not a race. Over the next few months as restrictions ease, we will be given opportunities to do more. Initially – I imagine- everyone will jump at the chance. But before you jump back into doing what you used to do, take a moment to reflect.

Ask yourself: How do I really want to live my life?
Because now is the best time to pivot, to turn a corner, to make those changes you really wanted to make.

Why? Because your“normal” has been disrupted and you have slowed down.

This is the perfect opportunity to reassess (if you haven’t already been mulling this over during lockdown) your priorities, essentially your values.

You don’t have to resume your old habits and ways of living.
You don’t have to go back to your“normal” if you don’t want to.

Think instead about creating a new “normal”. What do you want the new normal for you to look like? How do you want to spend your time?

Have you enjoyed not having to race around over the last few weeks? Have you enjoyed more nights in than out? What silver linings did you find amid the lockdown? Perhaps you got more creative in the kitchen, enjoyed the quiet of the streets, not having to commute. What did you miss? For me, friends and family, date nights outside of the house 🙂 and just sitting in a cafe. Simple things I once took for granted.

While the exact landscape ahead is not exactly clear for us, the one thing we can become very clear about is what we want to create for ourselves and our families moving forward. What does that look like for your lifestyle, your business, your job? Now’s the time to become clear and begin a new path of your own creation that truly aligns with your values.

What will your “new normal” be?

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Forget pro’s and con’s, create your own decision system!

How do you make the important decisions in your life and your business? 

If you don’t have a specific way of weighing up options, I suggest you consider developing a personal decision system. I’m talking about the bigger decisions here, the decisions that we know will change the trajectory of our life quite significantly. Much time and energy can be spent weighing up options, or procrastinating making a significant decision. This is because we don’t have a specific process to help us to make a big decision.

Traditional approaches to making important decisions have often involved weighing up options by sorting the pro’s and con’s of each option. I’m not a fan of this. It makes it more confusing and assumes equal weight for each pro and con, and frankly, that is rarely the case. Some things are more important than others. This is the fundamental base of our values system. Some options will actually make us more fulfilled(as they align with our values) and as such should not weighed as an equal to other options. 

Let’s look at an example: If we are weighing up whether to take on a new work role that will mean less time with our partner or family. If we use the pro’s and con’s method, in the pro’s column we would have things like:
More income
Excellent learning opportunities

In the con’s we might have:
Less time with partner/family
Longer commute

We are treating all of the pro’s and con’s as being equal. You may be able to come up with many pro’s and con’s, but the reality is that not all of them are equally important to you. If one of your core values is love/connection, then treating the“less time with partner/family” as an equal factor to all the others is not accurate. 

What aligns with your values will always weigh more, will always be more important to you. 

So, how do we weigh decisions without talking pro’s and con’s?

I suggest you develop your own decision making system.

It’s a system that you design and use for all of the bigger decisions you need make. Having a system will not only make the process more efficient and less arduous, but it will help you assess the outcomes based on your own unique priorities and values. A personal decision system makes sense, as only you truly understand what you are willing to tolerate and ultimately what will be fulfilling in the longer term for you.

To get you started on creating your own decision system, try one or incorporate a few of the following approaches:

Use a series of questions
You can run decisions through a series of unique questions to help you weigh up options. These should be unique to you, so take some time to reflect on what you really need to assess with decisions. Questions can help you understand the impact of the decision in the short and long term. Some examples of questions you could include:
How will this option affect my life in the next 6 months/5 years?
Who will be impacted by this option?
What will change in my daily schedule?
Would I need to drop something to take this on?

Check it against your values
As I mentioned before, some things are more important to us than others. Everyone has their own unique value system. It’s important to understand your own. Knowing your core values means that you can hold your options up to the values and see if they align. If financial stability is a value of yours, then your decisions can be assessed on whether they impact your financial stability. It does not matter how many benefits an option has, if it will be detrimental to your financial stability, it’s probably not good for you. (Discover your values by reading my blog here.)

Seek professional advice
There are some decisions that do warrant a professional opinion. Some financial and business decisions will benefit from having input from a professional in their field. You still need to understand your own priorities, but it’s wise to incorporate a professional opinion, particularly in regards to areas where you do not have specialised knowledge. eg. getting your accountants advice for a business financial decision.


Visualise the best outcome for each option
If you’re deciding between a few options, it can be useful to imagine what each optimal outcome would be. You can do this by taking each option and imagining the best possible outcome for you if you took that specific option. The trick is to do it for all of the options you’re weighing up. This way you’re comparing apples to apples- best case scenarios to best case scenarios. This helps you to get a sense of if it“feels right” and will help you realise which of the best outcomes would be more fulfilling for you.

Use your intuition
Whether you call it intuition, a hunch or a gut feeling, they’re all the same. You are using another sense(or all of your experience and wisdom) to make the decision. There is no rationalising with this type of decision, you rely on an instinct, a knowing feeling. Some of us are more in touch with this tool than others. If you’ve used your intuition in the past and it’s served you well, then consider incorporating it for all of your major decisions.

Get persective
It’s hard to see the forest for the trees, as they say. As such, it’s hard to make a decision when you remain in the context of your everyday routine, in the thick of where the decision is. It works to get an outside perspective. It doesn’t take much. I find a day trip out of my city alone can do wonders for perspective. It allows you to on the outside looking in at your current situation. Some people can achieve this by being in nature, or going for a long walk. The key is to relax and free up space in your mind, which enables you to think more clearly.

So, which of these options will you incorporate into your decision-making system?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

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What creates ease, purpose & peace?

Your personal values, whether you are aware of them or not, are playing a major role in your life. We all use our values when we evaluate how we feel life is going for ourselves. It is our values that are really running our lives. But for most of us, this is happening at an unconscious level. We are all using our values to make decisions, big and small but often remain unaware of what we are really doing. If these values are really are running our lives, it makes sense to get to know them a little better. And if you need more convincing as to their importance, check this scientifically proven fact: living according to your values is the path to optimum fulfillment and results.

So what are personal values and how can you discover yours?

Personal values are the things that are most important to you. Your values are very much the core of your personality and play a large part in influencing your actions and behaviours. Becoming aware of your personal values will help you better understand what will create the most fulfilling life for you. For example, if one of your personal values is family and you create a business that requires you to be away from your family for extended periods of time, you will not feel fulfilled, even if the business is a great success. So knowing your values, can help you direct your life to bring you the results and sense of fulfillment that you truly want.

To discover your personal values, there are many great tools that you can use and the good news is that you can simply start by answering the questions below:

Reflect upon the last year or so of your life and answer the following:
1. When did you feel the happiest?
Consider what you were doing, who you were with.

2. When were you most proud of yourself?
Consider WHY you felt that way and if anyone else also shared in your pride.

3. What was a peak experience you had? ie. an experience that made you feel fulfilled and satisfied
Consider how this event gave your life meaning.

4. What do your choices show you about your values?
Consider the people you choose to have in your life, how you treat others and how you respond to hardship. In these interactions, you act according to your values. Which values are you acting upon?

Consider each answer you have and write down what value it represents. Once you have a list of values for all of your answers, narrow it down to your top 5, the top 5 values you can’t live without.
Then, make sure you write them down, put them in your phone, a Dropbox Paper file or write them on a post-it and put it on your fridge. You can now use these values to direct your focus and to help you make decisions. For example, knowing that “connection” is a top 5 value, start to think of ways that you can incorporate that value into your day today. It could be smiling and chatting with the barista as you get coffee, it could be really stopping and listening to your colleague as they discuss an issue. When making decisions, you can evaluate your options by how they align or don’t align with your values. If you’re not feeling particularly happy with the way your life is going, you can re-evaluate all aspects of your life based on these values. Then implement changes to move forward.

What you’ll find is that living (and working) according to your values will bring you a sense of peace, make your life much easier and create a sense of purpose you never knew you could have.

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Time boundaries and your values = wellbeing

How you use your time shapes not only your productivity levels but also your wellbeing and ultimately how fulfilling your life is. Knowing that your choices about time create such an impact, are you ready to look at your time choices more closely?

Have you ever been in a space where, for a day or a month or so, you felt really great? Things flowed along and you felt an inner experience of peace and calm. You were not on holidays, rather, you were doing your normal workload but things just felt “easy” as if they were just falling into place. If things came up they were dealt with. You were productive but not stressed. It could be called a joyful process in many ways… Have you ever been in that space? It is an experience of  wellbeing and accomplishment without drama or stress. Want some of that?

Well it’s very doable if you can design your time boundaries well. Creating specific time boundaries will help you to be more productive without the stress. It will also create an inner sense of fulfillment because you are ultimately living according to your own values and priorities.

Here’s how you can get started with creating time boundaries and implementing them into your life right now:

1. Understand that the way you spend your time impacts the quality of your life

2. Accept that you are responsible for how you spend your time (No blaming work, your boss, your kids, your spouse)

3. Discover what is important to you. You need to understand your personal values as they will direct you to the activities that are the most fulfilling for you. These are activities that give you energy and you experience that sense of aliveness. This is very personal and each of us is different. Here are a few questions to get you started:
When did you feel the happiest? Consider what you were doing, who you were with.

When were you most proud of yourself? Consider WHY you felt that way and if anyone else also shared in your pride.
What was a peak experience you had? ie. an experience that made you feel fulfilled and satisfied? Consider how this event gave your life meaning.

What do your choices show you about your values? Consider the people you choose to have in your life, how you treat others and how you respond to hardship. In these interactions, you act according to your values. Which values are you acting upon?

4. Highlight which of your current activities or ways of spending time align with these values

5. Prioritise these activities by creating clear allocated times for each activity

6. Honor your decision of what is important to you by respecting these time boundaries

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Confident decision making

I was recently talking to a friend about their business which is in its early stages. They were presenting with some dilemma as to which direction to take. They had not acted on anything or made progress for the first few months because of this “dilemma”. Basically they said had two directions that they could move their business in and they could not see clearly which way would be best for them.

I listened to them talk about their business and passion for their brand and making something their own. I listened to their almost equally convincing ideas about the benefits of taking an easier path that wasn’t quite what they wanted but would gain momentum quicker. I could certainly relate to it personally, but having someone else present the same dilemma before me, I could instinctively see the issue. This is what I love about coaching, being that set of “outside eyes” for your client. You offer a wider perspective when your client can’t see ahead and you draw back the curtain and help them see the bigger picture. You help your client create more options and find clear solutions.

On this occasion I responded with what I had just heard this friend say about their business. I added that their passion for their own brand and business seemed quite strong and having their own brand was important to them. I explained that what is important to them and what they value should be what they decide to work with ie. the direction they decide to go in. This is all about using your values to make difficult decisions.

When you are clear about your personal values, decision making – even big decisions – aren’t that difficult anymore. You run them through the value check… will this align with my values, what’s important to me? In most cases one option will always align better with your values. And that is how you use your own values to move forward in your business and life. It creates confidence in your decisions and the direction you are taking. And in the short and long term you will experience a level of fulfillment that you could not otherwise have experienced if you were on another path disregarding your values.