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One year later – how are you managing the changes COVID made?

It’s been over a year since our world turned topsy-turvy with the COVID-19 global pandemic.
Can you remember what life was like before that?

I must admit that there are some blurry areas I cannot quite recall. Like, how often did I see my friends and did I go out of the house more? Likely. There are for sure things I can clearly recall as being an important part of my life, like travel. But the smaller things are not so obvious.

In many ways we’ve assumed our new habits, our new ways of working and living. Consequently how we did things before has become irrelevant in many cases. But that doesn’t mean the impact of change has gone as well.
Change on such a large and far-reaching scale as we saw last year, leaves its mark. Not just in the things that altered but in us as people.

Having experienced one of the biggest shifts in our society only just last year, we must be cautious in expecting that we are all “over it now” or “on the other side of it”. Yes we have adjusted. Yes we have adapted to our new routines. But if you are still “processing” it on some level, that’s normal.

Perhaps emotionally you still don’t feel like your old self.
Maybe your stress levels are staying elevated.
Perhaps you don’t want to accept the way some things are right now.

This is when I remind you that:
Whether change is something you choose for yourself or something that has been unceremoniously thrust upon you, you need to pro-actively manage it.

Most of us are still processing the changes that happened last year, although not everyone is aware of this.
Adjusting to change is always a challenge but it can be easier when you apply a few trusted techniques, such as these I share with you now.

Here’s 4 ways to help you better manage change:
Accept it’s a challenging time
Change is challenging for all of us. If you feel that you’re still adjusting in some ways, you need to acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone is challenged by change. Don’t slip into expecting that you “should” be over it all by now. This is still very much an adjustment phase and you are navigating it. Everyone needs their own time to adjust.

Simplify
This is one of the best techniques to apply, with immediate results. You look at everything that you have on your to-do list, goals and responsibilities and you decide which things you can delay(push your deadline back), delegate or delete altogether. Trying to push forward on full throttle while still navigating the change process will only exacerbate your stress and overwhelm. Simplify things by reducing your responsibilities.

Allow more time
Most of us would prefer that we have a certain established amount of time and at the end of that time, the change process is complete. All nice and neat and predictable. Mostly we just want it to take as little as time as possible. I warn against giving into these thoughts as they completely oppose the process of change. You need to allow more time for this process than you would otherwise anticipate or expect for any challenge.
Creating or accepting change takes time. And there is no way to speed this process up. Be patient with yourself and refer to the first point: There is nothing wrong with you.

Have your own back. 
Moving through change will require more time and energy from you. It can be unsettling, frustrating and tiring. It might be a bit of a rollercoaster ride at times. Therefore it’s crucial that you have your own back. Work with yourself and not against yourself by becoming aware of any negative thoughts about your situation. Remind yourself that this is a process and will take time. Be mindful of your self care and ways to restore your energy levels.
Having your own back means supporting yourself as much as you would support a good friend in their time of need. Be patient. Give yourself the things you need to rejuvenate your energy and write our any negative thoughts that come up.

I hope you will implement one of these techniques over the next week.
Which one will you choose?

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To reduce stress, increase your mind space

Stress manifests for each of us in different ways. Whether you experience stress in a very physical way in your body or more of an overall attitude slump, the cause is always your mind. 

Our thoughts create our feelings. So if we’re feeling stressed, we’re having stressful thoughts.

Or perhaps we’re just having too many thoughts in general. What do you notice about your thinking patterns when you’re stressed?

Noticing your thoughts is the first step towards creating some mind space for yourself. If you can notice or observe your thoughts, you are not your thoughts. There opens up some gap where you can be the observer and be less attached to the thoughts.

That’s why mindfulness and meditation are so helpful in reducing stress. These practices help create more of what I like to call mind space.

Today I’d like to share with you 4 different practices that can help you to create more mind space and reduce your stress. You can easily integrate all of these practices into your routine, but if you are starting out, maybe just try implementing one practice for a few weeks to start with.

  1. Download your thoughts
    Write your thoughts out. Get them out of your mind! You can do this by journaling or simply by doing what I call a thought download. You can choose a specific project/goal to write about or focus on your current situation generally. You basically write all of the thoughts you have about that situation down. All of the thoughts, without editing.  This gets rid of all the thoughts rolling around in your mind clanging like marbles and creating noise.
  2. Meditate
    You can’t overestimate the value of meditation to your short and long term mental health. I say start today if you don’t already meditate! If you’re a beginner, it might be best to start with a guided meditation and then over time progress to just focusing on your breathing and not thinking. This requires practice. The whole point is to focus your awareness in the present moment and spend less time thinking. 
  3. Use the Focus Technique
    This is a very simple but effective exercise. Again, it has similar principles to meditation. You are to focus your attention and observe without thinking or feeling. Here are the steps:
    – Select a small personal object that you like a great deal. It might be an item of jewellery, an ornament or  a favourite tool for your hobby.
    – Focus all your attention on this object as you inhale and exhale deeply for 1-2 minutes.
    – While you’re doing this exercise, try not to let other thoughts or feelings enter your mind. If they do, just return your attention to the object. Observe it closely and breathe.

4. Find your out-of-mind activity
There are many activities that help us to become more present in our bodies and/or be “in flow” when we are not thinking at all. These activities are usually a physical or creative practice eg. running, yoga, dancing, cooking. Think of an activity that you can get so wrapped up in that you are no longer thinking or taking in information. You are just in the moment and there is no mind chatter going on. When you find your activity, you simply need to do it regularly! This will help you to remain present, as well as create and maintain mind space.

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5 tips for managing change better

So much change in so little time. Surely this is the tagline for 2020? By now we’ve all been weather beaten into submission with all the constantly moving parts. No longer fighting against the tide of change (at least I hope you’re still not doing that) we’re now in some form of acceptance that things will continue to change and be a little crazy for at least the rest of the  year and likely next.

And herein lies the challenge: more change ahead. So how do we even navigate the next 6 months (which will feel like 8 months)? We need to learn to manage change. Whether change is something you are choosing for yourself or something that has been unceremoniously thrust upon you, you need to pro-actively manage it.

Change is hard and it doesn’t come natural to any of us. Our brains are wired to resist it. Without proactive management frequent change on a large scale can create much stress, anxiety and feelings of being out of control.

So let me share with you 5 ways that you can better manage change over the coming months:

  1. Accept it’s a challenging time

We are currently experiencing change and disruption to our routines and way of life on a huge scale. It’s a difficult time for everyone. When it’s a difficult time, things feel harder. It’s tiring. You may feel stressed. You may oscilate between feeling engaged and then wanting to retreat from the world. That is to be expected because it’s a challenging time. Change requires adjustment and takes time. Accept it is difficult and believe that you are navigating it as best you can.

  1. Simplify

This is one of the best techniques to apply, with immediate results. When COVID-19 hit I did exactly this and it helped a lot! Look at everything that you have on your to-do list including your goals and general responsibilities (personal admin, housework etc.). Decide which things you can delay (push your deadline back), delegate or delete altogether. Trying do it all while navigating the change process will only exacerbate the stress and overwhelm. Simplify by reducing your responsibilities in your work and personal life.

  1. Allow more time for the adjustment to occur

Most of us would prefer that we have a certain established amount of time and at the end of that time, the change process is complete, such as having an end date for this pandemic. We all want it to be nice, neat and predictable. Mostly we just want it to take as little as time as possible. But there is no way to speed this process up unfortunately. When you focus on the end result you want and resist your present circumstances it causes you stress.  You are resisting what is and wanting it to be different(you are“arguing with reality” as Byron Katie says). Ask yourself: Can you accept that it will take a long time? How can you shift your focus to the present moment?

  1. Expect it to be messy

Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You may cope and adjust to a new situation well for a while, but then you seem to“regress” back to the old way of thinking and being. This is a normal part of the process. But often this is when we all feel like we’ve failed or that something is wrong with us. I assure you that it is normal to be feeling up and down as you adjust to change.

  1. Have your own back. 

Moving through change will require more time and energy from you. It can be unsettling, frustrating and tiring. It’s important to therefore have your own back. Work with yourself and not against yourself. You can do this in a number of ways: 1. By becoming aware of any negative thoughts about your situation. Remind yourself that this is a process and will take time. 2. Support yourself as you would support a good friend in their time of need. Cut yourself some slack, reassure yourself that you are doing your best. 3. Engage in self care activities. Give yourself the things you need to rejuvenate your energy (exercise, sleep, yoga, good food, water, a day trip etc).

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Beware the pathway to burnout (you may be on it)

Right now the conditions are ripe for burnout. There is plenty of uncertainty within organisations and businesses. Many people – and perhaps yourself too – are unconsciously working harder or longer. This is partly because we all don’t want to fail, lose a business, a position, get fired. In addition to this, our normal patterns of recreation and travel are disrupted which seems to be leading many of us towards just not going anywhere and more significantly, not taking a break at all.

It’s not sustainable.

I can see it already in the faces and actions of people. Sometimes it’s a stern kind of determined look of powering through until it’s all over and we can go back to“normal”. Sometimes it’s a weary sigh saddled with abject apathy and the resignation, “well I can’t go anywhere so I might as well work”.

And I can see how we’ve each ended up in these situations, with these approaches to what is a very confusing time. Our normal work patterns are disrupted and we’re mostly working from home. There goes major boundary number one. Work and home are now operating on the same turf. Even if you have plenty of space, there’s something about living and working in the same place for most of the week that blurs the lines between work and home. Even if you’re like me and you can switch off the laptop when it’s time, I find myself still having many more work conversations at home.

But for many others it’s even more intrusive. The long task list and projects have essentially“moved in”  and there seems no way to get rid of them. Except, of course, to finish them. Right? So off you go peddling all day and all night to “just finish this last bit so I can relax”. This is based on the idea of salvation at the end of a project. It can also pop up in any goal setting scenario you find yourself in. I don’t judge this approach at all, after all I did it myself for a very long time. 

What I want to point out is that this practice insists that you delay your“reward” until the race is over and in the current circumstances this is now more dangerous than ever.

You will burn out.

And it’s often hardest for people like you to hear this. You are likely very accomplished at what you do. Maybe you’re a business owner, a leader, certainly someone who likes to get things done and to achieve things. These wonderful traits also make it harder for you to listen up when someone talks about burnout because you kind of think it doesn’t apply to you.  Not in an arrogant way. You’ve just always been highly productive, so what’s wrong with that. Nothing, of course.
 
But I bring your attention to the current context we all find ourselves in. It’s the fact that most aspects of our lives are disrupted at the moment. The disruption and uncertainty impacts you more than you think it does.  When multiple facets of our lives are moving parts, it creates stress on some level. Just because you have not directly been impacted by the virus by actually catching it, does not mean you have not been affected by COVID-19. But there seems to be a lot of people pretending that they’re not affected… or perhaps they are just unaware.

It’s sneaky, you see. When you can manage the changes on a surface level, you keep functioning. So you assume that you’re okay. But realistically we’re all stressed. We all need some time out and yes, even a getaway (within the current travel restrictions). So when are you booking your break?

For more info on burnout, check out these resources:

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/avoiding-burnout.htm

https://www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com/managing-workplace-issues/burnout-response

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6 signs that you will benefit from working with a coach

Not sure if you might benefit from working with a coach? Today I share some common situations that professionals and small business owners are finding themselves in right now. If you relate to these scenarios, you might want to consider hiring a coach.

  1. You feel overwhelmed or stressed
    The main causes of overwhelm and stress relate to how you manage your mind and how you manage your time. Of course at the moment, you also have the global pandemic, which is adding to stress levels for many people. Your coach can help you develop specific strategies to address stress and work with you on managing your mindset to reduce overwhelm and stress.
  1. You feel stuck
    Things have ground to a halt in recent months and you can’t seem to feel confident about the future let alone make decisions. In times of uncertainty it’s normal to feel thrown off-track. Your coach can help you navigate the way forward in small steps to get you moving again.
  1. You don’t have a written vision, goals and a plan
    You need the big picture for your future defined in a vision as well as a written set of goals with a specific plan to achieve them. Regardless of any uncertainty around you, your coach can work with you and provide resources that assist you in this process.
  1. You’re so busy and don’t see an end in sight
    If you feel like you have no time, then you should definitely seek help. Your coach has an “outside” perspective which can help you see your way through this. Together you can implement a time management plan to get on top of things once again.
  1. You want reliable and objective support or feedback and someone to keep you on track
    It’s SO much easier having someone to talk to about your business or career. Imagine if you had someone whose job it is is to listen and support you, someone who will help you keep on track and be the sounding board you need. This is what your coach can do for you.
  1. You haven’t defined your values or understand your purpose
    If you don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing, you can end up with motivational challenges the moment you hit a bump in the road. Additionally you need to understand your personal values and confidently know that they align with your business and professional goals. This ensures that you’re creating what will be truly fulfilling for you. Your coach can help you define your values and keep you focused on your purpose.

    If you think you may want to try working with a Certified Coach, sign up to my FREE Coaching Introductory Session.

    A Coaching Introductory Session is a 1 hour one on one meeting to discuss your business and life concerns. It’s an opportunity to experience what it’s like to be coached and if you would benefit from coaching. Register here.