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How to quieten your mind chatter

With  access to all the information we could want at our very fingertips, its no wonder we have busy brains, right? The convenient and instant access to information has created amazing benefits for us all but with it also comes a few new challenges.

The constant consuming of information and entertainment make for very full minds. In many cases we are over consuming. It doesn’t help that alerts and pop-ups tap into that biological response part of us all which is highly addictive!

So, what can we do to create a little quiet in our minds?

Be present and focus
The more we are simply focused in what we are doing and where we are right now – ie. being present – the more quiet and peace we can create for ourselves. Initially this focus will need to be with you focusing your whole attention into a specific activity that you’re currently undertaking. With practice over time, you can also create this quiet without doing any activity at all. How does it work? Simply do one thing at a time and focus all of your attention on what you’re doing. Call it getting into flow, into the zone… it is about getting into a space of full attention and very little, if any, mind chatter.

Create boundaries
Start small with this. It can be really as simple as turning your phone off during one meal per day, or for one hour. This is to totally disconnect from information. You can also create boundaries by reducing the flow of information to just one source. We are often receiving multiple sources of information at one time and this exacerbates the busy brain problem. For example, don’t have email open while you’re working on other projects, put your phone on silent etc. 

Schedule tasks or delete them
Throw away your to-do list! Yes, I said it. I am a lover of lists of all kinds, but a to-do list rarely gets actioned. This is mainly because the to-do’s don’t have a hard deadline and aren’t actually  allocated time. You need to actually allocate time to do the things on your list. Put them straight into your calendar. Then, you simply honour your calendar and do it when it is scheduled. If you don’t want to put it in your calendar, your really don’t want to do it, so completely delete it from your list and mind.

Make your decisions in advance & final
There is a crazy amount of cognitive effort that is wasted on unmade or half-made decisions. Even for simple things like “what I think I might cook for dinner”, we spend a lot of time and energy going back and forth over the options. It’s such a waste our valuable cognitive space! The best option is to decide in advance as much as possible. If you can plan all your meals for example in advance for a few days or a week, it means you won’t be using your brain space to wrangle with that. Sounds simple and small but try it! Start small and move on to bigger things. You may have heard the story that Steve Jobs only wore the same outfit every day. Why? To avoid the mind chatter and cognitive effort being spent. 

Become more present in your body
When we are more present in our physical bodies, we are less occupied with our minds. Think about activities that get you in touch with your body and your senses… exercise, being in nature, cooking, dancing, sex… Any activity that helps you become more in touch with your senses and/or breathing will bring you into your body and away from the thought chatter. Some people get this from running, meditation or a creative hobby. Look for activities that help you to be present in your body to help you quieten your mind.

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When is the right time?

Do you have some changes that you want to make that you are putting off?

In my coaching sessions over the years, I’ve always heard the same reasons for delaying a decision for a change. The reasons are usually:“now is not the ideal time” or “I’m not ready yet”.

Sound familiar?
Both of these reasons are actually the same thing. You see, when clients tell me these reasons I know that what they really mean deep down is:
“I don’t feel ready.” 

I get it. I have experienced that feeling, almost an ambiguity in wanting to make a change, to decide to move forward… but also wanting to delay. I know it feels like you are giving very valid reasons for delaying. And I also know that it’s really only in a few cases that situations actually warrant the delay before jumping in.

Still, noone can make you decide that now is the time. That’s why change is always up to you.

If you are at a point and find yourself saying “now is not the ideal time” or “I’m not ready yet”, make sure you ask yourself why. Why is now not the time?  And if I did do it now, what difference would it make?

Too often we procrastinate whilst being well-meaning. We know something needs to change and we have every intention of doing it. But right now, it’s not a good time.

When is a good time? This is the question you need to ask yourself. If you are delaying a decision or delaying making a change, ask yourself:
If not now, then when?

Make sure you get a specific answer. No foggy, round-about vague answer will do.
If not now, then when will I start this?
If not now, then when will I decide – yes or no – to move forward with this idea?

You see this idea of there being a right time is mostly bulls**t! (yes, first swear in my blog posts) There is no ray of insight, clearing of clouds and sudden clarity that brings “the right time”.

So when is the right time?
The right time occurs when you say to yourself“now is the right time”.
The right time occurs when you simply decide yourself that it is the right time.
You decide when it’s the right time, so you can decide now!

Don’t be fooled into thinking that embracing change is a huge disruption and life-changing event.For the most part, our decisions to move forward are in reality much smaller commitments. They are also a lot less risky than we tend to imagine. 

Could you just decide that now is the right time?

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1 change to make this week!

Our ability to create change in our lives starts with our willingness to do something different. All change – big or small- begins with the tiniest movement . It’s a small opening where we allow ourselves to consider that there might be another option. 

We discover or we are shown that there are in fact other ideas or paths, thus creating multiple opportunities. Either way, change starts with allowing something in. Almost a speck and insignificant, this small possibility is the birth of change. 

Change starts small. One decision, one habit, one new idea. 

If you think back to changes that you have made in your life, you will find that there was a time when your thinking about that specific situation that shifted. You reached a point (by force or by choice) where you suddenly opened to another perspective. Then came the willingness to try. And after trying and failing, but keeping on trying, you created a significant change.
You’ve done it before so you can do it again.

What do you want to change this year? 

What 1 change will you make this week to move towards a new possibility?

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How to deal with change

Change in our lives can be something we consciously choose or something that is in some way thrust upon us. You’ve likely experienced both types of change and discovered that whichever way it comes, change always poses challenges. Yes, even the things we choose to invite into our lives that require change can be uncomfortable (at first) and difficult to adjust to.


In fact, it’s a natural human response to just resist change. Our brains are wired to keep us alive and to be efficient; two things that the process of change works completely against.


We all struggle with change because initially we cannot be on autopilot as we used to. Doing different things, even just driving to a different workplace, requires more cognitive effort. Having to be more alert and less often on autopilot is tiring and you’ll feel it. Change almost always signifies an end as much as it does a new beginning and dealing with that sense of loss can also be confronting. In terms of the bigger picture, change also interferes with our sense of self. Experiencing large changes, especially close together, can send you into a mini identity crisis. You don’t feel like yourself but you don’t feel comfortable in the new you, so to speak.


As challenging as change is for all of us, it’s also inevitable and very much a normal part of life(although it may not feel normal). So you’ll likely agree that it’s worth building your change adaptation skills. From my personal experience of much change within my own life and through watching clients navigate the change process, I’ve established a change management strategy that you can implement with any change situation.


Here’s 6 approaches to better manage change. Ideally, you would implement all of them, but just start with one at a time to focus on for maybe a week or two.


Accept it’s a challenging time and it’s ok to feel a mix of emotions
We established that change is challenging for all of us. So taking that a step further, you need to accept there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone is challenged by change. So when you inevitably experience thoughts along the lines of “I’m not managing this very well, there’s something I’m not good at” etc. you can remind yourself of this truth. There is in fact nothing wrong with you. This is an adjustment phase and you are navigating it.A variety of emotions can come up during the change phase, but if you expect them to show up, you’re less concerned when they do. You may experience feelings of doubt, feeling just not like yourself and most likely you will experience stress.


Simplify
If you are experiencing or creating major changes in your life and/or business, then you need to simplify things. This is one of the best techniques to apply, with immediate results. Look at everything that you have on your to-do list, goals and responsibilities and decide which things you can delay(push your deadline back), delegate or delete altogether. You can’t do it all while navigating the change process, as this will only exacerbate the stress and overwhelm. Simplify by reducing responsibilities.


Allow more time
Most of us would prefer that we have a certain established amount of time and at the end of that time, the change process is complete. All nice and neat and predictable. Mostly we just want it to take as little as time as possible. I warn against giving into these thoughts as they completely oppose the process of change. You need to allow more time for this process that you would otherwise anticipate or expect for any challenge. Creating or accepting change takes time. And there is no way to speed this process up. Be patient with yourself and get the support you need to keep you moving forward.

Expect to fall off track
Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You cope and adjust to the new habit or situation quite well for a while, but then you “regress” back to the old way of doing or being. This is a normal part of the process. But often this is when we all feel like we’ve failed. This is just the beginning. You need to look at change as a series of getting on track and falling off… or if you prefer this analogy, getting back on your horse, time and time again. Noone decides to change and does it in one decision! We all make the decision to change over and over again as we consciously create a new path or habit for ourselves. Expect that you’ll go back and forth for some time between maintaining the change and then not. 

Keep or create core rituals
The change process by its nature throws into dissarray many aspects of our lives. It often can feel like we have lost our point of reference, our home base. I suggest that you make a list of 3 core rituals that you will continue to do or start doing, that make you feel more anchored. Regular activities that are familiar and enjoyable can create a sense of comfort and control, even if all around you feels very different. Keep it simple. Your rituals could be meditation, journalling, exercise, lighting a candle, seeing a movie each week, chatting with a good friend. Whatever works for you. It needs to be enjoyable and some activity you’d like to keep doing at least once a week if not more, to create a ritual.

Create support systems
Moving through change will require more time and energy from you. It can be unsettling, frustrating and tiring. On the flip side, when you do see progress, it will give you a boost of energy and hope. So you can see how it might be a bit of a rollercoaster ride at times. It’s important to therefore have your own back. Work with yourself and not against yourself by becoming aware of any negative thoughts about your situation. Remind yourself that this is a process and will take time. Having your own back means supporting yourself as much as you would support a good friend in their time of need. Give yourself the things you need to rejuvenate your energy and write our any negative thoughts that come up.

I suggest also seeking out support from others as you move through the change process. Talk with a good friend about it, engage with your faith/higher power, read personal development blogs or consider hiring a coach. 

I hope you will consider implementing these tips when you find yourself on your next change journey. Being able to confidently navigate change in our lives is a practical and essential skill in being able to create new things for ourselves and our business. So the benefits will show up now and in the future.

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5 ways to beat procrastination

So, do you procrastinate?
I must say, my own answer to this is a mixed one…You see there are plenty of things I have disciplined myself to do and there are a few things I realise I have been putting off. Like, clearing out the storage cupboard!

Of course depending on how important something is, we all delay or prioritise our tasks. But if you find that procrastination is getting in the way of your important work, then read on. These 5 tips are gold! I promise they will help!

There are many reasons why we procrastinate. Most of them are a variation on“I don’t feel like it”. When you’re meant to be spending the morning writing your report, you instead work on other, easier to action tasks. You delay writing the report. 

Your mind chatter goes something like this…
I don’t feel like it.
I have more urgent things to address.
It’s a big task, I don’t know where to start.
It’s going to take up too much time.
I don’t have time now.I can do it tomorrow.
Yes, tomorrow I have time.

Instant relief, you don’t have to do it today. You’ve convinced yourself that it’s not possible. You buy into your reasoning and allow yourself to relax now that that’s over, you can get on with other things.

But, the next day… the same thing happens again. 

Why?
The answer lies in the reasons we give for not doing the thing we should be doing. The excuses and stories we tell ourselves provide an insight into how we can overcome procrastination.

Let’s start with one of the reasons mentioned above:I have more urgent things to address.This implies that the task you are delaying is not important or that you can’t really see, at least at this moment, why you should be doing it over something else. Herein lies the first tip to beating procrastination:
1. Make sure you know your why
If you’re not clear on why you need/want to do the task you are putting off, then it’s easy to push it down the list of things to do. Understanding the reason why the task is important and the bigger picture around it, will help you to value the task more and be less likely to delay it. 
Example: Task: To go for a run
The WHY behind it: to feel good/ to be energised throughout the day/ to lose weight/ to get better so I can run the marathon etc.

Next, our reason to procrastinate was: It’s a big task
2. Reduce the commitment in your mind
Our minds will resist anything that it sees as a big task or challenge. It basically gets overwhelmed and we instinctively just want to walk away. Everyone has this built into their brains, so don’t worry, it’s not just you! 
So how do we avoid going into overwhelm?

Commit to just a bit, to get you started. The idea is you tell yourself you will just do 10 minutes and that’s enough to drop your defences. You relax a little and you get started. The trick is, once you start, you keep going to the end. I’ve used this innumerable times to get me to the gym and on the treadmill. I tell myself I only have to do 15 minutes today (and not think about 45 minutes at all). But once I’m at 15 minutes, I just do another 10 minutes and so on, until the original goal is achieved.
Example: Task: To write the report
Reduce the commitment: I will just do 1 page of the report/ I will just write for half an hour.

The next reason we have is: I don’t know where to start
3. Know exactly where to start
Good, this is easy. So what do we do? We plan in advance so you know exactly where to start! The first step needs to be made as clear and easy as possible.
Example: Task: Create a FB ad
Create the place to start: Write the process to create the ad in small actionable steps

The next reason: It’s going to take up too much time.In reality, maybe it will, maybe it won’t. The key here is:
4. Don’t do the whole thing
Not to be confused with tip #2, in this case you will not aim to finish the task.You will break the task into small pieces and you will do just one piece. The smaller the better. Break your task into 20 small pieces if you like! All you have to do is complete 1 of the small pieces.
Example:Task: Paint the house
Break it down, the small pieces could be: calculate how much paint you need, decide on the colour, buy the paint and materials, schedule days in your diary to paint 1 room at a time, prep the room etc.

The next reason is the most common reason. Somehow many of us buy into it as a valid reason:I don’t feel like it.
5. Accept that you will not feel like doing it
We use this reason to not do a task because we believe on some level that “feeling like doing” something is the way it’s supposed to be. We all assume that not feeling like doing something is a sign of some sort. We use it to justify that it’s not the right time, I don’t have the right mindset, I’m not ready… Here’s the deal: You are not going to feel like doing it most of the time! If you can accept that not feeling like doing it doesn’t mean anything at all (just a human resistance to doing anything different), then you can power through it! 

This is how success is created, how productivity is created, how champions are born.You do it, regardless of how you feel.
All successful people understand this principle. It’s what separates them from the pack. They are willing to do things when they don’t feel like it. Think about it. 

What would your life look like if you started to do all the things you don’t feel like doing?

Yes, I know, it’d be a lot different!
The choice is yours:)