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When is the right time?

Do you have some changes that you want to make that you are putting off?

In my coaching sessions over the years, I’ve always heard the same reasons for delaying a decision for a change. The reasons are usually:“now is not the ideal time” or “I’m not ready yet”.

Sound familiar?
Both of these reasons are actually the same thing. You see, when clients tell me these reasons I know that what they really mean deep down is:
“I don’t feel ready.” 

I get it. I have experienced that feeling, almost an ambiguity in wanting to make a change, to decide to move forward… but also wanting to delay. I know it feels like you are giving very valid reasons for delaying. And I also know that it’s really only in a few cases that situations actually warrant the delay before jumping in.

Still, noone can make you decide that now is the time. That’s why change is always up to you.

If you are at a point and find yourself saying “now is not the ideal time” or “I’m not ready yet”, make sure you ask yourself why. Why is now not the time?  And if I did do it now, what difference would it make?

Too often we procrastinate whilst being well-meaning. We know something needs to change and we have every intention of doing it. But right now, it’s not a good time.

When is a good time? This is the question you need to ask yourself. If you are delaying a decision or delaying making a change, ask yourself:
If not now, then when?

Make sure you get a specific answer. No foggy, round-about vague answer will do.
If not now, then when will I start this?
If not now, then when will I decide – yes or no – to move forward with this idea?

You see this idea of there being a right time is mostly bulls**t! (yes, first swear in my blog posts) There is no ray of insight, clearing of clouds and sudden clarity that brings “the right time”.

So when is the right time?
The right time occurs when you say to yourself“now is the right time”.
The right time occurs when you simply decide yourself that it is the right time.
You decide when it’s the right time, so you can decide now!

Don’t be fooled into thinking that embracing change is a huge disruption and life-changing event.For the most part, our decisions to move forward are in reality much smaller commitments. They are also a lot less risky than we tend to imagine. 

Could you just decide that now is the right time?

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Perfectionism v’s Entrepreneurship

Are you a perfectionist? Or, has anyone ever told you that you’re a perfectionist? If you’re starting or operating a business, please read on…

I consider myself a reformed perfectionist, for want of a better term! I’m not keen on labels, but that does succinctly sum it up. I say reformed because somewhere along the way I realised a strong drive within me and realistically perfectionism wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go.

Perfectionism is kind of deceptive, really. Especially if you identify as being a perfectionist and even experience some pride in stating that that’s just how you are. I think it often starts when we are young. We develop certain ways of operating in the world to get our needs met.

Years later down the track, we have these habits ingrained. We have to do things in a certain way. We have to keep and maintain a high standard and we often feel very guilty if we make even one tiny mistake. Think about it. When was the last time you made an error or forgot something? What was your first thought? What did you feel? It’s this fear of making mistakes that will hold you back in your business and of course your life.

Creating a business can often involve a lot of trial and error. This is the nature of entrepreneurship. You have ideas and you bring them to fruition in the world however you can. The journey is not an easy, straight road. You must embrace experimentation and learning. And you need to be flexible. You need to be willing to put things out there in the world, over and above creating something that is perfect.

What needs to come to the fore is your drive to create and connect. This will take your focus away from perfection. I know it can be hard, especially at first, to put something out in the world that is not 100%. The main reason we’ve become perfectionists is because we fear criticism. So I know that the idea of voluntarily posting something we can improve on is not a natural instinct for a perfectionist. But, as I said, focus on that drive to create and connect. You can’t create change in the world, talk about your product/service if you are still working on your presentation or blog post. And this is what often happens with perfection. Not a lot of action.

Like it or not, perfectionism slows us down.

Instead of seeking perfection, embrace your ideas and take action, review and modify. Then, repeat. You’ll find that once you try it a few times (and you don’t die) that it is kind of thrilling. Try it!

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What’s really running your life

Your personal values, whether you are aware of them or not, are playing a major role in your life. We all use our values when we evaluate how we feel life is going for ourselves. It is our values that are really running our lives. But for most of us, this is happening at an unconscious level. We are all using our values to make decisions, big and small but often remain unaware of what we are really doing. If these values are really are running our lives, it makes sense to get to know them a little better. And if you need more convincing as to their importance, check this scientifically proven fact: living according to your values is the path to optimum fulfillment and results.

So what are personal values and how can you discover yours? Personal values are the things that are most important to you. They are very much the core of your personality and play a large part in influencing your actions and behaviours. Becoming aware of your personal values will help you better understand what will create the most fulfilling life for you. For example, if one of your personal values is family and you create a business that requires you to be away from your family for extended periods of time, you will not feel fulfilled, even if the business is a great success. So knowing your values, can help you direct your life that will bring you the ultimate results. Want in?! I know I do…

So, let’s discover your personal values…There are many great tools that can help you do this, but you can simply start with answering the questions below.

Reflect upon the last year or so of your life and answer the following:
  1. When did you feel the happiest?
    Consider what you were doing, who you were with.
  1. When were you most proud of yourself?
    Consider WHY you felt that way and if anyone else also shared in your pride.
  1. What was a peak experience you had? ie. an experience that made you feel fulfilled and satisfied
    Consider how this event gave your life meaning.
  1. What do your choices show you about your values?
    Consider the people you choose to have in your life, how you treat others and how you respond to hardship. In these interactions, you act according to your values. Which values are you acting upon?

Once you have a list of values, narrow it down to your top 5, the top 5 values you can’t live without. Then, make sure you write them down, put them in your phone, a Dropbox Paper file or write them on a post-it and put it on your fridge. You can now use these values to direct your focus and to help you make decisions.  For example, knowing that “connection” is a top 5 value, start to think of ways that you can incorporate that value into your day today. It could be smiling and chatting with the barista as you get coffee, it could be really stopping and listening to your colleague as they discuss an issue. When making decisions, you can evaluate your options by how they align or don’t align with your values. If you’re not feeling particularly happy with the way your life is going, you can re-evaluate all aspects of your life based on these values. Then implement changes to move forward.

What you’ll find is that living (and working) according to your values will bring you a sense of peace, make your life much easier and create a sense of purpose you never knew you could have.

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Why you need a growth mindset

Do you have a growth mindset? Because as a solopreneur you are going to need one to sustain you and your business for the long term.

First, let’s define exactly what a growth mindset is. A growth mindset refers to the mindset or viewpoint that talent and intelligence can be developed. ie. you can grow and develop your skills and intelligence. The opposite to this is what is known as a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset refers to the viewpoint that all intelligence and talent is innate and that we are all given a certain and finite amount of ability. ie. what you already have, is what you will always have.

Which mindset do you belong to?

This is an important question because of the impact this directly has on the performance and development of yourself and your business. Your growth or fixed mindset impacts your motivation. It impacts your reaction to mistakes and failures. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the path of a solopreneur is often generously sprinkled with mistakes and failures 🙂 So, the way you view these mistakes and failures is really going to impact your journey and results.

Do you view mistakes as learning? Do you expect that not everything is going always work out the first time, or maybe even the second time, and that’s okay? Do you truly believe that you can develop your talent and skills through hard work, feedback and good strategies? If you can answer yes to these questions, then you are safely planted in the growth mindset zone.

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What are you feeding your mind?

Are you aware of what you are feeding your mind? What I mean is, do you know exactly what you are putting into your mind every day? As we can be aware of the food we use to fuel our bodies for optimum health and peak performance, so too can we be aware of what we are putting into our minds. Why? Because what we feed our minds directly impacts our mental health and peak performance. And this ultimately impacts upon our business success and our quality of life.

When I talk about “feeding” I’m talking about all of the various information and entertainment that we consciously and unconsciously let into our minds on a daily basis. News media, social media, podcasts, books, Netflix, You Tube are all examples of what we often feed our minds on a daily basis. It’s important to become aware of exactly what we are feeding our minds as this directly affects what we will think, believe, how we will feel and how we will ultimately show up and take action (or not take action).When building and growing your business, you need mental clarity, motivation and a positive attitude. The question is, are you creating that through what you’re feeding your mind each day or not? The quality of what you feed your mind will directly affect the quality of your output. So, what are you putting in? Think about what you watch on tv/Netflix, what you view on social media. Even the conversations that you have, the people you surround yourself with, are part of that input. Are you exposed to gossip or negative people, or are you engaged in positive discussions?

I have a quick 3-step process to help you assess your mental inputs. Just answer these questions:
  1. What are the top 5 inputs that are influencing your mind each week and how much time do you spend on each?
  2. For each input, ask yourself: Is this input serving me? What are the benefits I get from this time?
  3. Am I happy with the amount of time I spend with this activity? Would I like more or less time with this activity?
Awareness is always the first step. We need to assess what we are actually doing first, then consider what we’re really getting from each particular input, and finally, we decide what’s working or not working for us and make a change accordingly. I originally did this 3 step process many years ago and I haven’t looked back. My current “mind food” consists of quality podcasts, inspiring and informative blogs and news feeds. Of course we’re all prone to veering off path, so I just  make sure I review the process a few times each year, to keep things on track.  My mind food keeps me constantly learning and helps maintain my positive attitude. Undoubtedly it impacts the way I show up in my business and relationships. How about you, how is your mind food influencing you today?