In this video series I’m asking you a Coaching Question each week.
I’ve got a đź’Şpowerful question for you this week!
If you want to create change
If you want to create something different for yourself than what you ALREADY have, listen to my Coaching Question in the video.
Change begets change.
2020 thrust upon us change in almost all areas of our lives and routines. Much of the change was unwelcome. But the curious thing about change is the way that it makes us re-evaluate what is important to us and what we really want.
Many people were doing this last year. I know I was. And the resulting outcome is that many of us are wanting to do 2021 differently. We want to drop some things and we want more of other things.
The change that was so de-stabilising last year has jolted us into initiating our own changes for this year.
If you have also felt the pull towards a change but are not sue where to begin, then you’re in the right place! Here’s how to begin:
Get specific about the change you want by first defining WHERE you want changes to happen. Decide which life domain your proposed changes will be in 2021. Is it just your work habits you’d like to change or are you thinking of your health and wellbeing? Make sure you understand the WHERE of your changes.
Next you need to define WHAT specific changes you want to make. It’s easy to become clear about this by answering a few powerful questions.
Thinking of the life domain that you have selected above, answer the following:
What do I want more of in this life domain in 2021?
What do I want less of in this life domain in 2021?
Is there anything I want to completely stop in this life domain in 2021?
It’s important to have a time-frame in mind such as WHEN you want to start the changes. Is January the right time to make changes in your family domain or will it work better in February when the kids go back to school? Or when you are fully back into work mode?
Consider if you have the resources to take up the new changes now. Â If you are dropping some things, consider whether you need to wrap a few things up first before letting go of them.
For example you may decide to delegate things and you may need to do a handover or training. This will help you define your “when”.
HOW will you make the changes? It’s important to have a plan in mind that establishes how you will start and manage these important changes. I recommend that your approach be slow, small steps at first. You can always move forward quickly once you’ve established the initial changes. What is required in order for you to make these changes? What steps do you need to take?
You should assess the impact of your changes on your schedule as well as others. Anticipate push-back from others if your change effects them, as it will take some adjustment for both you and them to get used to this new way of doing things.
The second part of the HOW is to create a system to maintain the changes you want to make. Do you have a friend or colleague who is also making changes? Perhaps you can agree to check-in with each other every week to see if you’re maintaining the changes. You might also consider an accountability partner or working with a coach. The key is to stablish a system that works for you to keep you on-track.
This WHERE, WHAT, WHEN, and HOW approach is an excellent foundation for the changes that you envision ahead for you in 2021.
If you need any help, reach out for a FREE 1 hour Coaching Introduction session to get you on track for your best year yet!
Setting yourself up for a successful year ahead does not have to be complicated or time-consuming. I have created a simple 5-step process that enables you the best start to the year. This process ensures that you build on your success and learnings from the previous year, align your activities with your values and create a system that keeps you on-track for the year.
Step 1 – Review your review
Did you complete a review as I recommended in December last year? If so, get it out and read through it again. If you haven’t done a review of your 2020 year, there is still time. Click here to get started on one now. It takes just a few quality questions to provide you with key learnings and an overview of your outcomes for the year. 2020 was a challenging year on many fronts and for this reason, you will likely have learnt quite a lot. The review will capture this important information and provide a springboard for the next actions you will take to move ahead into 2021.
Step 2 – Highlight your key learnings & required actions
A review is not a process to be completed and then set aside. Your answers to the review questions are incredibly valuable and you should absolutely utilise them in your early planning for 2021. Start by looking at your review answers and make a note of the key learnings. These learnings could be what you learnt about yourself, your work or the way in which you work. Certainly note what did and didn’t work for the year. Next you want to note the actions that need to take place to move you forward. This is where you tap into the power of the review, it can act as the springboard to move you forward. What do you need more of in 2021? What 1 thing do you need to change in 2021? The answers to these two questions will create some basic actions that you can build on.
Step 3 – Check in with your values
Do you have a list of your personal values? Are you even aware of what your values are? Your personal values are the intrinsic foundation to your experience of wellbeing and fulfillment. In other words, if you want to experience wellbeing and fulfillment, you simply must live in alignment with your values. Values by their very nature will shift and evolve as you do, most particularly when you have experienced changes in your life. As 2020 was the year of change, make sure you check-in with your values to assess if they have changed.
Step 4 – Set your SMART goals
What outcomes do you want in your personal and professional life this year? What changes would you like to make? Express these outcomes as a Specific, Measured, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound goals.
Step 5 – Set your tracking system
Did you know that the main reason for goal non-achievement is simply just “getting off track”? Most goals require you to engage in new habits, new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking. Acquiring a new habit takes practice until our brains have created a well-worn neural pathway and the task feels more natural. The key to habit formation is staying on track long enough to establish this familiarity with the new habit. Your habit building solution is therefore to set up a tracking system. If you track your habit you ensure that you maintain it more consistently for a longer period of time until it becomes easier. It’s natural to “get off track” when starting a new habit, so this system is the key to your success. Check out my tracking system here.
Follow these 5 steps and you will be ensuring that you give yourself and your goals the best opportunity for success in 2021.
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So much change in so little time. Surely this is the tagline for 2020? By now we’ve all been weather beaten into submission with all the constantly moving parts. No longer fighting against the tide of change (at least I hope you’re still not doing that) we’re now in some form of acceptance that things will continue to change and be a little crazy for at least the rest of the  year and likely next.
And herein lies the challenge: more change ahead. So how do we even navigate the next 6 months (which will feel like 8 months)? We need to learn to manage change. Whether change is something you are choosing for yourself or something that has been unceremoniously thrust upon you, you need to pro-actively manage it.
Change is hard and it doesn’t come natural to any of us. Our brains are wired to resist it. Without proactive management frequent change on a large scale can create much stress, anxiety and feelings of being out of control.
So let me share with you 5 ways that you can better manage change over the coming months:
We are currently experiencing change and disruption to our routines and way of life on a huge scale. It’s a difficult time for everyone. When it’s a difficult time, things feel harder. It’s tiring. You may feel stressed. You may oscilate between feeling engaged and then wanting to retreat from the world. That is to be expected because it’s a challenging time. Change requires adjustment and takes time. Accept it is difficult and believe that you are navigating it as best you can.
This is one of the best techniques to apply, with immediate results. When COVID-19 hit I did exactly this and it helped a lot! Look at everything that you have on your to-do list including your goals and general responsibilities (personal admin, housework etc.). Decide which things you can delay (push your deadline back), delegate or delete altogether. Trying do it all while navigating the change process will only exacerbate the stress and overwhelm. Simplify by reducing your responsibilities in your work and personal life.
Most of us would prefer that we have a certain established amount of time and at the end of that time, the change process is complete, such as having an end date for this pandemic. We all want it to be nice, neat and predictable. Mostly we just want it to take as little as time as possible. But there is no way to speed this process up unfortunately. When you focus on the end result you want and resist your present circumstances it causes you stress. You are resisting what is and wanting it to be different(you are“arguing with reality” as Byron Katie says). Ask yourself: Can you accept that it will take a long time? How can you shift your focus to the present moment?
Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You may cope and adjust to a new situation well for a while, but then you seem to“regress” back to the old way of thinking and being. This is a normal part of the process. But often this is when we all feel like we’ve failed or that something is wrong with us. I assure you that it is normal to be feeling up and down as you adjust to change.
Moving through change will require more time and energy from you. It can be unsettling, frustrating and tiring. It’s important to therefore have your own back. Work with yourself and not against yourself. You can do this in a number of ways: 1. By becoming aware of any negative thoughts about your situation. Remind yourself that this is a process and will take time. 2. Support yourself as you would support a good friend in their time of need. Cut yourself some slack, reassure yourself that you are doing your best. 3. Engage in self care activities. Give yourself the things you need to rejuvenate your energy (exercise, sleep, yoga, good food, water, a day trip etc).
Right now the conditions are ripe for burnout. There is plenty of uncertainty within organisations and businesses. Many people – and perhaps yourself too – are unconsciously working harder or longer. This is partly because we all don’t want to fail, lose a business, a position, get fired. In addition to this, our normal patterns of recreation and travel are disrupted which seems to be leading many of us towards just not going anywhere and more significantly, not taking a break at all.
It’s not sustainable.
I can see it already in the faces and actions of people. Sometimes it’s a stern kind of determined look of powering through until it’s all over and we can go back to“normal”. Sometimes it’s a weary sigh saddled with abject apathy and the resignation, “well I can’t go anywhere so I might as well work”.
And I can see how we’ve each ended up in these situations, with these approaches to what is a very confusing time. Our normal work patterns are disrupted and we’re mostly working from home. There goes major boundary number one. Work and home are now operating on the same turf. Even if you have plenty of space, there’s something about living and working in the same place for most of the week that blurs the lines between work and home. Even if you’re like me and you can switch off the laptop when it’s time, I find myself still having many more work conversations at home.
But for many others it’s even more intrusive. The long task list and projects have essentially“moved in”  and there seems no way to get rid of them. Except, of course, to finish them. Right? So off you go peddling all day and all night to “just finish this last bit so I can relax”. This is based on the idea of salvation at the end of a project. It can also pop up in any goal setting scenario you find yourself in. I don’t judge this approach at all, after all I did it myself for a very long time.Â
What I want to point out is that this practice insists that you delay your“reward” until the race is over and in the current circumstances this is now more dangerous than ever.
You will burn out.
And it’s often hardest for people like you to hear this. You are likely very accomplished at what you do. Maybe you’re a business owner, a leader, certainly someone who likes to get things done and to achieve things. These wonderful traits also make it harder for you to listen up when someone talks about burnout because you kind of think it doesn’t apply to you.  Not in an arrogant way. You’ve just always been highly productive, so what’s wrong with that. Nothing, of course.
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But I bring your attention to the current context we all find ourselves in. It’s the fact that most aspects of our lives are disrupted at the moment. The disruption and uncertainty impacts you more than you think it does.  When multiple facets of our lives are moving parts, it creates stress on some level. Just because you have not directly been impacted by the virus by actually catching it, does not mean you have not been affected by COVID-19. But there seems to be a lot of people pretending that they’re not affected… or perhaps they are just unaware.
It’s sneaky, you see. When you can manage the changes on a surface level, you keep functioning. So you assume that you’re okay. But realistically we’re all stressed. We all need some time out and yes, even a getaway (within the current travel restrictions). So when are you booking your break?
For more info on burnout, check out these resources:
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/avoiding-burnout.htm
https://www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com/managing-workplace-issues/burnout-response
