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Where your focus should be for best results

Vision is important. Having the big picture in mind for your business or project is essential. But here’s the caveat: Once you have the big picture, you must break it down into small, manageable pieces.

 Do you have a step by step outline to achieve your big goals?

I ask this because one of the main causes of overwhelm and stress with any project lies in looking at the big picture for far too long. It seems that we like to dwell more on the expected outcome, the end result. We often want to get to that place as fast as we can. But working on a large project or big goal requires another skill set altogether. 

You must step away from the big picture, or adjust your focus so-to-speak. Blur the bigger picture and focus on the step you’re taking right now.

Breaking your project or goal into smaller pieces and working on one piece at a time is how you can actually accomplish big things. It’s in managing the little things, one step at a time, that a power is unleashed. Procrastination and stress are reduced and a whole lot of benefits await you if you can just focus on the one step you are taking right now:

Reduced stress and overwhelm
Imagine standing at the bottom of a mountain and looking at the summit. You’re going to climb the mountain. Do you keep looking at the summit as you climb all the way up? No, of course not. When you look at the summit it’s overwhelming. The scale of the journey is too big for your brain to manage. It will instinctually resist, get stressed and start telling you how hard it is, if not totally impossible. This is why small steps are so important. It makes it more manageable, more consumable for our brains. Consequently it reduces stress and overwhelm about the big climb that is your project or goal. 

Feeling more engaged with the project or goal
If you’re keeping your eye on the end result as you work on your big goal you’re going to be more attached to the end result. The end result is important, but it comes… at the end. While you’re in the middle, be in the middle. This is how engagement is increased. Staying with the step you’re working on increases your concentration and connection to what you’re working on. Feelings of engagement are generated when you stop treating the thing you’re working on as a means to an end, to get to the result. Try it, you will enjoy it. Trust me.

Feeling more in control of large goals and projects
Large goals and projects are exciting… until they’re not. Until you feel overwhelmed, out of control and spiral into an attitude of reluctance. It’s so big you feel like you have no control. That’s why breaking it all down into bite-sized pieces is essential. This is the only way to accomplish big goals. If you thought those people who are achieving big goals were just doing bigger things, then you’re wrong. Quite the opposite thing is happening. If anyone is achieving big goals it’s because they’ve mastered breaking it down into small pieces to keep them feeling in control. Bottomline: the more you feel in control, the more motivated you are to keep going.

Increased quality of work
When you focus on the step you’re taking right now, more care and attention will flow into what you’re working on. The result is a significant increase in the quality of your work. And increased quality also contributes to some of the enjoyment- see the next benefit…

More enjoyable process
An increase in the quality of your output is certainly satisfying. In addition to this and perhaps more significantly, is the enjoyment created in the focused doing. Allowing yourself to focus on one thing brings you into the present moment and helps you move into “flow”. Whether you call it flow, being in the zone or just presence- it’s all the same. When you are fully present with what you’re doing, the process automatically becomes joyful.

Prevents burnout
One of the major causes of burnout is in trying to things all at once. This is what can happen when working on a goal or project without breaking it down into the small steps. In fact, having no plan at all is what usually contributes to burnout because there’s a big effort put on many things all at once with no sequence or defined paramenters. It’s difficult to a) maintain this momentous effort and b) recognise any real progress. Focusing on one step at a time gives you one thing to put your energy into with a clear result or stepping stone being accomplished at the end. You will feel the progress.

It’s more trackable in smaller pieces
As I just mentioned, the small pieces become stepping stones. If the whole goal is broken down into 5 stepping stones, then you know after accomplishing 2 of those then you’re almost half way. This is great for tracking progress, resources and managing your time. When you can track it, you can anticipate all of these things much easier.

Eliminate resistance
A wonderful thing happens when you focus on one step at a time. Your brain relaxes a little. It can see that it can manage the task because it’s a small task and only one single task it has to deal with. The effect of this cannot be underestimated. The resistance you naturally experience when working on a big project or goal- all that procrastination- is overcome just by staying with the one smaller task at a time. When your brain has no resistance, you can easily start working. So it’s goodbye procrastination and hello efficiency. I say yes to that!

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How to prevent decision fatigue

Decision fatigue. It causes us to make unhelpful or irrational decisions. The consequences in your business can be procrastination and not creating the outcomes you want. In your life, the consequences are procrastination and not creating the outcomes you want. Yes, the same result. 

Decision fatigue will cause you to take the easy road or to procrastinate. And for those of us who have been on the personal development path for many years, you know how big a challenge it can be to overcome these two tendencies!

So, what is decision fatigue and how can we avoid it?

Decision fatigue is the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making. Given that we all make on average 35,000 decisions every day, you could say that towards the end of most days, we all have decision fatigue! It is at these moments that we decide not to go to the gym, to eat dessert, or simply to not do what we promised we would.

Sounds like it might create a few problems, right?

Yes. If you are creating new habits or banishing bad ones, then this is the crux of your challenge. Will power is a limited resource, so you need to rewire your decisions.

Here are 8 tips to prevent decision fatigue:

1. Cut out unnecessary decisions
You may already be familiar with the fact that Steve Jobs always wore the same thing to work each day. This was a conscious choice on his part to avoid making the decision of what to wear each morning. Sounds simple, but makes a big difference. You too can apply this approach to things in your life. Decide on things just once and then don’t make that decision again. Maybe having the same smoothie for breakfast or the same lunch. It eliminates one decision so you drop it from your mind knowing it’s already been decided.

2. Put the most important decisions and or tasks at beginning of the day
If our decisions are better at the beginning of the day, then you need to move the most important decisions and projects to your first priorities in the morning. Here is where the argument for avoiding email first thing is validated! All those decisions spent on correspondence and filing emails could be better spent on the decisions and tasks that will really generate your results.

3. Don’t delay decisions, schedule them if you have to
Never delaying a decision means what? It means you will free up so much space in your brain that is currently filled with the“might do that”,“will I or won’t I” and“must decide on that”. Having undecided things in our heads not only takes up a lot of space but adds to the decision fatigue. We have unnecessary“noise” in the background of our minds when we run back and forth over a decision. And each time we think of it, we’re increasing our decision fatigue. Don’t delay decisions. Make them once and drop them. If it’s really a big decision and you require time to think it through thoroughly, allocate specific time to weigh things up and make sure you set a deadline.

4. Schedule decision-making time
As I mentioned above, bigger decisions can require more time. Rather than let them loose while you go about your working week, schedule a specific time on your calendar to literally go through the decision-making process and make the final decision. This way you know you have time allocated to deal with it and will not have it floating around in your head.

5. Have a process for making decisions
So naturally what followsall this, is in scheduling decision time, you will want to run a big decision through a type of system. This is an efficient and effective way to manage the larger decisions we have to make from time to time. This will vary from person to person, but generally you should ensure you are aware of your core values(for a personal decision) and the company values(for a business decision. You can set a questionnaire, talk it through with your mentor/guru or take time out in nature- the process is up to you!

6. Drop some decisions altogether
Yes, you can drop a decision completely. You can do this by delegating or deleting. You may be able to delegate certain decisions that ultimately can be handled by your team/ partner. You can delete decisions that are no longer relevant or important to you. 

7. Reframe the right/wrong approach
Somehow we have all been led to believe that decisions are either right or wrong. It’s all a matter of perspective. Whatever the outcome of your decision, the actual outcome is neutral. It is only what we think about the outcome that ultimately classifies it as “good” or “bad”. This is not an avoidance of accountability. This is accepting that a choice will create an outcome and there is no right or wrong outcome. There is just an outcome. Don’t agonise over a decision. There is not just one path to your destination, there are many, and you can get there with different decisions.

8. Leave it alone
Once you have made a decision about something, leave it alone. Don’t go back over it again second-guessing yourself. This is surely how most of us are creating the decision fatigue. We um and ah and say to ourselves “oh, I don’t know.” But, if you did know, what would it be? Don’t let yourself float in that cloud of so-called confusion which is actually self-created. Make the decision and have your own back. What’s the worst that can happen? You make a detour. It doesn’t work, you try something else. But make the decision once and follow through without second-guessing yourself first.

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The Problem With Seeking Success

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As you are a consumer of personal development content, then you’re most likely also aware that much of the noise is all about how to become successful. In every article or blog you are offered tips, formulas and breakthrough techniques. And yes, in this post I too offer some ideas (guilty).

But, there are a few problems with this idea of the pursuit of success.

When we read articles about creating success, we’re thinking about success as a destination most of the time. As if someday, we will arrive there on our yacht, sipping champagne and smiling for the world to see. Sounds nice, but…

Success is not a destination. Because once we achieve a certain goal, we are quickly then on to the next thing. We are always growing, so the idea of reaching success at a singular point is illusory.

But more significant than this even, is the assumption most of us are making.

We are assuming that when we are “successful” then we will also be fulfilled. We assume that the hole within us of “not-enoughness” will be gone when we are successful.

Sorry, bad news: Success does not equal fulfillment.

Don’t get me wrong, you can be successful and fulfilled. But understand this distinction:
You cannot expect that your success will also bring fulfillment. They are two very different things.

You cannot pursue success as if it were the answer to your fulfillment.

You can pursue success at an endeavour for what the challenges will make of you. Being successful in that endeavour will be cause for celebration at achieving a goal. But fulfillment is up to you and is independent of your goal achievements and failures.

Have a think about it. Are you expecting success to make you feel better about yourself? Make you feel more confident? Will you feel worthy after you achieve that big goal?

Then, you are seeking fulfillment in a place you cannot find it. Success cannot fill that hole, you must learn to develop your own experience of fulfillment.

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5 ways to create options when you feel stuck

At one time or another we’ve all felt stuck. Our momentum grinds to a halt and we find ourselves procrastinating about what to do next. Know what I mean?

This often shows up after not getting the results we were after for a specific campaign or project. Sometimes it’s a case of overwhelm and there are just too many things to think of. We lose our focus or aim and we end up in a kind of holding pattern. 

The longer we stay in this holding pattern, the more we feel we will never get out of it.

So, the first thing to do is act fast. Once you realise you’re stuck or you sense that you’ve lost momentum, I suggest applying one or more of these 5 fixes:

1. Ask yourself: If I was assuming something about this situation, what might that be?
Asking quality questions will always open up ideas and opportunities. It’s what I mostly do as a coach and I will happily share with you the best questions I use. This is one of them. Asking what you’re assuming will re-frame your situation. You will be able to view it differently. eg. If you were in a situation trying to decide between two course of action, asking this question will help you to understand your unconscious assumptions about the situations. You may be assuming that one course of action is hard or expensive. You may be assuming that someone won’t agree to your request etc. 

2. Ask your future self
I love this practice. Asking your future self is a very powerful tool that you can use not just to get you unstuck but to guide you throughout your journey. It’s a simple as imaging that you are at your end goal. You have achieved what you set out to achieve. Imagine that version of yourself and ask them for advice. Sounds a little strange at first, but it’s kind of like asking your wiser self. If you already had achieved the goal and were looking back to right now, what would you advise yourself to do.

3. Revisit your values
We can often get stuck when we feel that all directions or decisions are equally weighed. Going back to basics and revisting your values will help with this. You have a values list, right? (If not, check out my blog post here about it) If you see your situation and choices through your values, it will be easier to start to move forward. It will make it clear to you what is truly important.

4. Change of scene
Sometimes it’s a case of getting perspective. Once you’re in that holding pattern and overthinking about what to do and not doing anything, it can be good to just escape. You need to step outside of the zone you’re working in and look inwards, rather than be in the middle of it trying to find the way. I always find that a day trip to a different city or town helps.Getting away from our“roles” is important. Go somewhere noone knows you and you can just be you, not you the business owner, wife/husband, parent, manager etc. You’ll be surprised by the effect. You’ll likely get  a new perspective or idea that will make all the difference.

5. What is the best case scenario
We’re all familiar with best and worst case scenario evaluations. Have you ever weighed up a decision using only the best case scenario, for both options? If you’re stuck on a decision, look at each option separately and imagine the absolute best case scenario. What is the ideal outcome? What would you be doing? How would you feel?Imagine the absolute best case scenario for both options and then go with what feels best. Remember, don’t consider the worst case scenario at all. Just look at the absolute best for both options.

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The 5 Most Common Mistakes of Goal Setting

1.You have no action plan
This is by far the most common error when we set goals. The intent is set and we even establish a time-frame, but we don’t create a plan. A plan is just a written step-by-step process to get you to where you want to go. Having a plan greatly increases your chances of achieving your goal. It also prevents overwhelm, stagnation and procrastination because the path is laid out for you and broken into smaller steps. You can approach it one small step at a time. Remember, bite-size pieces is easier for our human brains to deal with, especially when we’re doing something new.
2.The goal is unrealistic
Your goal can be unrealistic for a number of reasons. Usually it arises from expecting that you can do something in a much smaller space of time than is humanly possible. Any perfectionists and high achievers please note
… We are all human and we can only do what we can do. Setting super high standards will not make you better but just set you up for disappointment. The other major reason for unrealistic goal setting is in lack of factoring in the overall context of the goal. Our lives (work, business, personal etc) don’t happen separately or in a vacuum. Your goal is only one part of the whole. It may be an important part but it is still only just one of a few  parts. You need to factor in the context of the goal- your life  and business situation. Are you in the middle of moving, a family crisis, have 3 projects due at the end of the quarter? All of these elements, whether from personal or professional life will impact on the total resources that you can allocate to your goal. Factor in these other things that are “on your plate” to help you better set a more realistic goal.
3.You set it and forget it
Goal setting and achieving is an ongoing process, not a one-time event at the beginning of the year or quarter. The nature of working with goals is organic in the sense that you often need to modify as you go. In other words, flexibility is key. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean you should create a goal and then “go with the flow”. No, you need a step-by-step plan on how you will achieve it. But then you must remain flexible to modifying it along the path you’re treading. Reviewing is the key to this process, so you need to be looking at your goal plan regularly to stay on track. Often the path to our goal is different than what we planned, so must adjust as required.
4.You don’t really want to achieve the goal
Is it possible that we actually want something we don’t really want? Yes. This is no personal flaw of yours. This can easily happen when we see a bright shiny outcome and from the outside looking in, we think to ourselves that that’s what we really. But having that thing, it turns out, actually involves doing or being certain things that really aren’t our game. An example of this: Having a multi-million dollar business speaking at live events around the country.  From the outside this looks amazing to you. Living your purpose and teaching others while getting to travel is a fantastic idea. Behind this goal are the background mechanics to make this work. You have to be willing to travel, stay in hotels alone, be away from your family and partner/spouse regularly. The idea of spending hours in airports and hotel rooms suddenly hits you and you realise you don’t want that goal after all. And that’s okay. You can however skip the whole process of discovering this after already spending lots of your time on it simply by understanding your values. Knowing your values will help you better decide on the goals that will truly bring you fulfillment.
5.Limiting beliefs stop you
We all have beliefs that we have established and often been unconsciously living by for most of our lives. Our early life has a large influence on how we perceive the world and these “learnings” and ideas end up manifesting as our belief systems about the world and other people. Everyone experiences this and most of us are unaware of most of our beliefs until we come up against a situation that challenges them.  This can be a situation where you feel stuck, unable to make progress or changes that you want. This is where working with a qualified coach can really help. They can help create awareness around the limiting beliefs and help you overcome them. It is difficult for us to see our own blind spots, no matter how aware we are of ourselves. If you find yourself in this situation, I recommend opting in for my FREE Introductory Coaching Session. I can help you create ways to move forward and away from feeling stuck or limited in your choices.