In this video series I’m asking you a Coaching Question each week.
I’ve got a đź’Şpowerful question for you this week!
If you want to create change
If you want to create something different for yourself than what you ALREADY have, listen to my Coaching Question in the video.
Change begets change.
2020 thrust upon us change in almost all areas of our lives and routines. Much of the change was unwelcome. But the curious thing about change is the way that it makes us re-evaluate what is important to us and what we really want.
Many people were doing this last year. I know I was. And the resulting outcome is that many of us are wanting to do 2021 differently. We want to drop some things and we want more of other things.
The change that was so de-stabilising last year has jolted us into initiating our own changes for this year.
If you have also felt the pull towards a change but are not sue where to begin, then you’re in the right place! Here’s how to begin:
Get specific about the change you want by first defining WHERE you want changes to happen. Decide which life domain your proposed changes will be in 2021. Is it just your work habits you’d like to change or are you thinking of your health and wellbeing? Make sure you understand the WHERE of your changes.
Next you need to define WHAT specific changes you want to make. It’s easy to become clear about this by answering a few powerful questions.
Thinking of the life domain that you have selected above, answer the following:
What do I want more of in this life domain in 2021?
What do I want less of in this life domain in 2021?
Is there anything I want to completely stop in this life domain in 2021?
It’s important to have a time-frame in mind such as WHEN you want to start the changes. Is January the right time to make changes in your family domain or will it work better in February when the kids go back to school? Or when you are fully back into work mode?
Consider if you have the resources to take up the new changes now. Â If you are dropping some things, consider whether you need to wrap a few things up first before letting go of them.
For example you may decide to delegate things and you may need to do a handover or training. This will help you define your “when”.
HOW will you make the changes? It’s important to have a plan in mind that establishes how you will start and manage these important changes. I recommend that your approach be slow, small steps at first. You can always move forward quickly once you’ve established the initial changes. What is required in order for you to make these changes? What steps do you need to take?
You should assess the impact of your changes on your schedule as well as others. Anticipate push-back from others if your change effects them, as it will take some adjustment for both you and them to get used to this new way of doing things.
The second part of the HOW is to create a system to maintain the changes you want to make. Do you have a friend or colleague who is also making changes? Perhaps you can agree to check-in with each other every week to see if you’re maintaining the changes. You might also consider an accountability partner or working with a coach. The key is to stablish a system that works for you to keep you on-track.
This WHERE, WHAT, WHEN, and HOW approach is an excellent foundation for the changes that you envision ahead for you in 2021.
If you need any help, reach out for a FREE 1 hour Coaching Introduction session to get you on track for your best year yet!
Setting yourself up for a successful year ahead does not have to be complicated or time-consuming. I have created a simple 5-step process that enables you the best start to the year. This process ensures that you build on your success and learnings from the previous year, align your activities with your values and create a system that keeps you on-track for the year.
Step 1 – Review your review
Did you complete a review as I recommended in December last year? If so, get it out and read through it again. If you haven’t done a review of your 2020 year, there is still time. Click here to get started on one now. It takes just a few quality questions to provide you with key learnings and an overview of your outcomes for the year. 2020 was a challenging year on many fronts and for this reason, you will likely have learnt quite a lot. The review will capture this important information and provide a springboard for the next actions you will take to move ahead into 2021.
Step 2 – Highlight your key learnings & required actions
A review is not a process to be completed and then set aside. Your answers to the review questions are incredibly valuable and you should absolutely utilise them in your early planning for 2021. Start by looking at your review answers and make a note of the key learnings. These learnings could be what you learnt about yourself, your work or the way in which you work. Certainly note what did and didn’t work for the year. Next you want to note the actions that need to take place to move you forward. This is where you tap into the power of the review, it can act as the springboard to move you forward. What do you need more of in 2021? What 1 thing do you need to change in 2021? The answers to these two questions will create some basic actions that you can build on.
Step 3 – Check in with your values
Do you have a list of your personal values? Are you even aware of what your values are? Your personal values are the intrinsic foundation to your experience of wellbeing and fulfillment. In other words, if you want to experience wellbeing and fulfillment, you simply must live in alignment with your values. Values by their very nature will shift and evolve as you do, most particularly when you have experienced changes in your life. As 2020 was the year of change, make sure you check-in with your values to assess if they have changed.
Step 4 – Set your SMART goals
What outcomes do you want in your personal and professional life this year? What changes would you like to make? Express these outcomes as a Specific, Measured, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound goals.
Step 5 – Set your tracking system
Did you know that the main reason for goal non-achievement is simply just “getting off track”? Most goals require you to engage in new habits, new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking. Acquiring a new habit takes practice until our brains have created a well-worn neural pathway and the task feels more natural. The key to habit formation is staying on track long enough to establish this familiarity with the new habit. Your habit building solution is therefore to set up a tracking system. If you track your habit you ensure that you maintain it more consistently for a longer period of time until it becomes easier. It’s natural to “get off track” when starting a new habit, so this system is the key to your success. Check out my tracking system here.
Follow these 5 steps and you will be ensuring that you give yourself and your goals the best opportunity for success in 2021.
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As challenging as these times may be, most of us still have ultimate control over our lives.The problem is that right now, it doesn’t feel like it.
You may feel tired and completely thrown off course by the events of this year.
Maybe you’re even confused about your purpose, your business, your life.
Or perhaps you’re just sick of feeling stuck and unable to plan for the future.
That’s okay. These feelings are a normal human reaction to all of the upheaval we’ve experienced. You are definitely not alone in these feelings!
However, if you’re sick of feeling so uncertain, then keep reading because I’d like to share with you 7 simple ways that will help you feel more certain.
Because the truth is, you can create certainty for yourself on a daily basis.Â
You may not be able to change what’s going on out there in the world but you can most certainly rule your own world!
You can use these strategies to easily increase the feeling of certainty in your life.
Many of them are small things that you can start right now, today. The great things is that you don’t have to do all 7, but of course, the more you can incorporate into your routine, the better.
Strategy 1: Have a plan
When we don’t have a plan, we drift with the wind and more significantly we don’t feel in control of our destiny. You can make a plan in uncertain times. Yes, you can. You may need to review it in a few month’s time to see if it’s still relevant, but you still should make the plan now.
Strategy 2: Make decisions
Again, one quick way to start to feel more in control of your world is to make decisions. Allowing yourself to stay in indecision because you’re “not sure what will happen” or “don’t have enough information” does not serve you. It will create more uncertainty. Even if you don’t want to decide something now, you can still decide to get further information and review it in a month with a view to making the decision then. Do you get where I’m going here? It prevents you from going back and forth over the “will I or won’t I” that makes us all feel so powerless. You can instead decide to forget about it for a month, get more info and then decide. Or, decide now.
Strategy 3: Take action- small things count
The idea is to think small here. Can you clean out one drawer in your home or office? Can you do one task on your to-do list? Taking small actions in a positive direction make a big difference. In particular de-cluttering will give you a sense of control over your environment. Just remember to do small bits at a time to avoid overwhelm.
Strategy 4: Strengths and gratitude
Gratitude helps you to look for what you already have and to acknowledge it. This helps you to see that you do actually have what you need. Focusing on this at least once a day and seeking out your personal strengths will assist in keeping the uncertainty at bay.
Strategy 5: Daily practices to anchor you
What habits or rituals have an anchoring effect for you? These are the practices that rejuvinate you or keep you focused and feeling in control or confident and secure. Is it keeping up an exercise routine? Chanting, prayers, meditation? Patting your cat? Whatever restores you and gives you a sense of being in-control and secure can become an anchor for you on a daily basis.
Strategy 6: Boundaries – fear mongering and media
Use your boundaries. Don’t allow in too much uncertainty from other people(family included) and the news/social media. Stay informed but don’t let them tell you how uncertain or worried you must feel. Limit your daily intake of news to avoid feelings of overwhelm and anxiety driven by what is mostly bad news.
Strategy 7: Re-frame the situationYes it’s been a challenging year and even at times quite a confronting one. Things seem to be shifting and life is not what it was 6 months ago. Sure, but try asking yourself these questions to re-frame this current situation:
What are some good things that have come out of this?
If there was an opportunity right now for me, what might it be?
What have I learnt about my real values in the last few months?
These strategies work and they will make a difference right away, so do start as soon as you can. It’s best to try implementing one or two for a week and maintain consistency with those first. Then you can add more as you like.
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So, I thought I’d pose an important and interesting question to you today.
Should you believe all of your thoughts?
What do you think?
Do you think you should 100% believe every thought that pops into your mind? What about the conclusions you have about a long term friend or that person you just met?
You see our thoughts are actually not facts.
Most often our thoughts are an opinion or an interpretation. Many of them are habits. Yes, we often think the same thoughts and have the same conclusions. And guess what? They are still not facts, no matter how often you’ve thought them. But that’s just it, isn’t it?
Thoughts that we have had on a regular basis over the course of our life are often accepted as facts. We think what we think is the truth.Â
But, it’s not.
Thoughts are not facts.
This is not a bad thing. I am not saying that we are all liars or are completely deluded. But I am saying that you need to be aware of what you’re thinking and ask for evidence on a regular basis.
Let’s look at an example of how our thoughts are really an interpretation of a situation:
Fact: My boss has not openly praised my work in a long time.
Thought: “My boss doesn’t value me”.
There could be many reasons why your boss has not openly praised you in a long time, and most of them have nothing to do with you. Think about it.
Your boss is busy, self-absorbed, going through a rough time, not good at praising others, is distracted, is stressed…Â
The point is, there are many interpretations of the facts, but our minds usually create one and stick with it. It’s not a fact, it’s a story or an interpretation.
If you have a thought that is creating negativity for you or keeping you feeling “stuck”, try asking for some evidence:
“What evidence is there for this thought?”
And secondly, “does this thought serve me?”
These questions will open up the possibility of other interpretations. They will create space around what could be an assumption, a long-standing story you’ve been telling yourself.
Try it. See what happens.
