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5 ways to coach yourself

Coaching remains one of the fastest growing industries in Australia. The concept of working alongside a Coach to further your own – or business – development is becoming socially and culturally more accepted, to the point where we’re seeing many “spin-off” services emerge. Health Coach, Sales Coach, Money Coach. When you start to see these additional branches of an industry emerging in a market, you can be quite sure that the concept has truly taken up residence.

If you have already worked with a good qualified Coach, then you can understand why we are embracing this practice more and more. There are numerous benefits, apart from the obvious one of improved performance. Self-awareness, managing the change process within yourself(and your business), overcoming limiting beliefs and learning new behaviours are all part of the package when you engage a qualified personal Coach. Working with a qualified Coach is always the best option for growth and support, but it is not the only option for everyone. Many of us are self-directed learners with a good sense of self and can, to a certain extent, learn to coach ourselves.

Here I will share with you my Top 5 Ways to coach yourself. Some of the concepts will be easier for you to use than others and all of them require a certain amount of practice and repetition to gain the real benefits. But I guarantee that the increased self-awareness and the resulting progress you make will be incredibly rewarding. I recommend that you start with just 1 or 2 of these practices at most. Practice/engage in them for a month before trying the other suggestions.

  1. Ask quality questions
    Our brains are designed to find answers. If you ask yourself a good question, your brain can’t help but try to find the answer, it’s the way it’s wired.  While, many of us look at our problems and ask questions, they are not always helpful questions. Why did this happen? This is not a helpful question. How can we prevent this from happening again? What is the ideal outcome in this situation? How can I make it better?These are more helpful questions. They focus on the future and they open up new ideas and opportunities.

    2. Become aware of your stories
    We can only go as far as our stories will let us. Our stories are the narratives that we’ve told ourselves about our life situations, our achievements, choices and results. Our minds naturally create stories to make sense of the world around us and we’ve been doing this mostly unconsciously since we were born. So all of those experiences you’ve had in early life are shaping the way you interact with the world, based on a story you have about the world and yourself. An example of a story could be: Money is great if you have it, but you have to work hard for it. It requires sacrifice.ORI can stick to a new habit for a few weeks but then I just give up. I’m not good at sticking to things.Becoming aware of the stories that you have is important because they influence what you think is possible for yourself. Do your current stories still serve you or are they limiting you? As we develop and grow over time, we naturally outgrow our stories and need to update them. If you’ve ever gone through some major changes in your life, you will understand that what you used to believe about something has completely changed. This is a significant shift in your story.

    3. Encourage yourself (like you would your best friend)
    We’re all quite good at supporting our close friends in their endeavours but are often more critical of ourselves. Ask yourself: What would I tell my friend in this situation? If you imagine having a conversation with your friend and them presenting the situation that you are actually in, how would you react? This exercise is to help you to become more compassionate towards yourself and to see things from an outsider’s perspective. Encourage yourself like you would your friend and see what a difference that makes.

    4. Reframe
    All of the events of our lives are interpreted by the thoughts we have about those events. All events are neutral, until we apply our thoughts, opinions, calculations and judgements to them. So it is therefore possible that there are multiple ways of thinking about the same event. With this in mind, ask yourself:  What other angle can you look at a problem or situation from? What different perspective can you find? This is called reframing. You essentially create a new way of looking.

    5. Understand the change process
    All of us experience change as it is a natural part of the human experience. Some changes are bigger than others and can affect your whole sense of self and your perception of the world. Other changes are smaller and almost unnoticeable. A lot of the work I do as a Coach is in helping people to navigate the change process. Most of us don’t fully understand that it is an actual process and not a switch or single decision that creates change. Understanding that change takes time, persistence and a plan to keep you on track is essential. As human beings, our brains naturally resist change, which is why habits are hard to make and break. Ensure that you’re on board for the long term and learn to embrace change as a process that you walk through over time. With the right tools and support and a realistic time frame, you can create any positive changes that you wish to create for yourself or your business.

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Should you be looking at the competition?

There’s a lot to be said about the benefits of competition on motivation. Many of us can truly find our fuel when faced with a competitor. After all, it is biological. The reward centres of our brain love a good win. But for long term goals and the trajectory of your business, is this really the best way for you to cultivate drive and motivation?

The stats say that more men respond with improved performance when faced with competition than women. It does not seem to affect the performance of women as much. Gender aside though, I think there is another factor at work here and it all has to do with whether we are extrinsically or intrinsically motivated. 

Here are the definitions:Intrinsically motivated= You do an activity because it’s internally rewarding. Extrinsically motivated= You do an activity to get an external reward.

Now, let’s also look at this in the context of goal setting for further clarification:
Intrinsically motivated= Goals come from within and the outcomes satisfy your basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
Extrinsically motivated= Goals are focused on an outcome and don’t satisfy your basic psychological needs. Goals involve external gains, such as money, fame, power, or avoiding consequences.

Which type of motivation do you relate to the most?

Obviously we all want to make money, why else are we in business. But in terms of fulfillment and acknowledging your own success, you will be more likely to value the outer rewards or the inner rewards. 

I always give the example of how you personally react to a compliment about your work. We all enjoy compliments, but if you are intrinsically motivated it may not matter to you what others think so much as what you think about your work. If a compliment is given, it is welcome, but it is your own opinion that assesses if you’re doing your best. In contrast an extrinsically motivated person will enjoy the compliment but also see it as a measure of their success and as form of acknowledgement. They take this compliment as the“reward”.

If you can see that you are extrinsically motivated– your motivation comes from “outside”, then certainly, looking at your competition in business will likely motivate you. You want the external reward, the power or dominance. You may want to avoid coming second to the competition, to avoid looking bad, or to just avoid“losing”. Checking out your competition from time to time and being competitive with them will benefit your business and it’s strategic outcomes.

If you identify as being intrinsically motivated- your motivation comes from “inside”, then looking at your competition in business is likely to be of no help at all and in some cases detrimental. When you are intrinsically motivated, your motivation and reward is all located within you and your actions. You are likely to be much less concerned with competing outwardly with others as a means to achieve external rewards(as these come from within). You value growth and achievement just as much but the measurement is different from the externally motivated person. 

Can you see how your own personal motivation style will affect your choice to look at your competition or not?

There is no right or wrong answer here, it’s a matter of what works for you the best. If you’re extrinsically motivated, try looking at the competition on a regular basis and see what effect that has on your performance. If you’re intrinsically motivated, don’t look at the competition at all. Instead, focus on your own progress.

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How to manage change in your business

As your business continues to grow, so will the need for you to better manage change within your business. With each growth spurt, your business requires you to find new ways of doing things to manage the increased workflow while remaining efficient. 

My questions for you are therefore: How well can you adapt to the changing needs of your business? How quickly? How effectively?

If you have no established plan to manage the growth of your business, let me share with you my 5 step plan to manage change in your business. The 5 steps that I outline below are applicable across all industries and business sizes. They are a foundation on which you can build your own tailored change plan for your unique business.

Step 1: Design & document new systems to manage the workload(with other stakeholders/managers)
One of the 3 biggest challenges of a growing business is the systematic shifts that are required as the business grows. The only way to meet this challenge is to design new systems that work better than the current ones. Systems get outgrown as the workflow increases. You need to consult with other stakeholders or managers (if you have a team) and design a new way to do things. Then you must ensure that it is documented, so their can be no discrepancies or misunderstandings.

Step 2: Clearly communicate the new procedures & start date
It’s important that once a new system has been designed, that all staff are notified of these changes and when they are to take effect. You may wish to hold a meeting, send an email or memo. Whichever way you choose to communicate, you must make it clear that the new systems have a specific starting date and that they are not optional. It’s always good to communicate why changes are being made. Most people are reluctant to change, but with a good reason, they are more likely to be onboard. The initial communication should also advise who is responsible for this project, so it is clear where queries can be directed.

Step 3: Provide support
Many systematic changes will require some kind of staff training. This can range from a short one-on-one session to show staff how to do a particular process, through to more in-depth day-long trainings for larger, more complex changes. eg. Using new software for a main part of the sales process would likely require a day’s training on how to use the new software in conjunction with the company’s current procedures. You can also provide support to your staff through the change process by providing convenient ongoing access to the new system procedures, with links to further information and contact with the project owner.

Step 4: Monitor implementation over time
With any changes that you implement, you must find a way to monitor the implementation over time. Initially, you will want to keep checking every week to ensure that the new systems are being utilised. This may be a quick check of the way work has been documented over the last week, or it may require direct feedback from particular individuals. It’s important to track that the new changes are being implemented consistently. This also acts as a reminder for the team to stay with the new process. Changing the way your staff work means that they are essentially changing their habits and this takes time. Change is a process, so be patient.

Step 5: Assess the results
After a significant period has passed and you find that the changes have been fully integrated, it’s time to look at the bigger picture. You implemented the changes for a reason, so are the changes helping solve your original problem? It’s important to assess the effect of the system implementation versus the old way that things were done. In most cases, it’s an easy “yes, this is significantly better”. It’s also good at this point to ask for staff feedback. Now that the changes have been assumed as the new way of doing things, ask staff what they think of the new changes versus the old way. Assessing the results as the business owner is one level, but you also want to make sure that you assess staff feedback as well. They are likely using the new procedures in their work more often than yourself and can provide valuable assessment of the outcomes.

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Forget pro’s and con’s, create your own decision system!

How do you make the important decisions in your life and your business? 

If you don’t have a specific way of weighing up options, I suggest you consider developing a personal decision system. I’m talking about the bigger decisions here, the decisions that we know will change the trajectory of our life quite significantly. Much time and energy can be spent weighing up options, or procrastinating making a significant decision. This is because we don’t have a specific process to help us to make a big decision.

Traditional approaches to making important decisions have often involved weighing up options by sorting the pro’s and con’s of each option. I’m not a fan of this. It makes it more confusing and assumes equal weight for each pro and con, and frankly, that is rarely the case. Some things are more important than others. This is the fundamental base of our values system. Some options will actually make us more fulfilled(as they align with our values) and as such should not weighed as an equal to other options. 

Let’s look at an example: If we are weighing up whether to take on a new work role that will mean less time with our partner or family. If we use the pro’s and con’s method, in the pro’s column we would have things like:
More income
Excellent learning opportunities

In the con’s we might have:
Less time with partner/family
Longer commute

We are treating all of the pro’s and con’s as being equal. You may be able to come up with many pro’s and con’s, but the reality is that not all of them are equally important to you. If one of your core values is love/connection, then treating the“less time with partner/family” as an equal factor to all the others is not accurate. 

What aligns with your values will always weigh more, will always be more important to you. 

So, how do we weigh decisions without talking pro’s and con’s?

I suggest you develop your own decision making system.

It’s a system that you design and use for all of the bigger decisions you need make. Having a system will not only make the process more efficient and less arduous, but it will help you assess the outcomes based on your own unique priorities and values. A personal decision system makes sense, as only you truly understand what you are willing to tolerate and ultimately what will be fulfilling in the longer term for you.

To get you started on creating your own decision system, try one or incorporate a few of the following approaches:

Use a series of questions
You can run decisions through a series of unique questions to help you weigh up options. These should be unique to you, so take some time to reflect on what you really need to assess with decisions. Questions can help you understand the impact of the decision in the short and long term. Some examples of questions you could include:
How will this option affect my life in the next 6 months/5 years?
Who will be impacted by this option?
What will change in my daily schedule?
Would I need to drop something to take this on?

Check it against your values
As I mentioned before, some things are more important to us than others. Everyone has their own unique value system. It’s important to understand your own. Knowing your core values means that you can hold your options up to the values and see if they align. If financial stability is a value of yours, then your decisions can be assessed on whether they impact your financial stability. It does not matter how many benefits an option has, if it will be detrimental to your financial stability, it’s probably not good for you. (Discover your values by reading my blog here.)

Seek professional advice
There are some decisions that do warrant a professional opinion. Some financial and business decisions will benefit from having input from a professional in their field. You still need to understand your own priorities, but it’s wise to incorporate a professional opinion, particularly in regards to areas where you do not have specialised knowledge. eg. getting your accountants advice for a business financial decision.


Visualise the best outcome for each option
If you’re deciding between a few options, it can be useful to imagine what each optimal outcome would be. You can do this by taking each option and imagining the best possible outcome for you if you took that specific option. The trick is to do it for all of the options you’re weighing up. This way you’re comparing apples to apples- best case scenarios to best case scenarios. This helps you to get a sense of if it“feels right” and will help you realise which of the best outcomes would be more fulfilling for you.

Use your intuition
Whether you call it intuition, a hunch or a gut feeling, they’re all the same. You are using another sense(or all of your experience and wisdom) to make the decision. There is no rationalising with this type of decision, you rely on an instinct, a knowing feeling. Some of us are more in touch with this tool than others. If you’ve used your intuition in the past and it’s served you well, then consider incorporating it for all of your major decisions.

Get persective
It’s hard to see the forest for the trees, as they say. As such, it’s hard to make a decision when you remain in the context of your everyday routine, in the thick of where the decision is. It works to get an outside perspective. It doesn’t take much. I find a day trip out of my city alone can do wonders for perspective. It allows you to on the outside looking in at your current situation. Some people can achieve this by being in nature, or going for a long walk. The key is to relax and free up space in your mind, which enables you to think more clearly.

So, which of these options will you incorporate into your decision-making system?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

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Not sure if you’re ready to hire staff?

Whether you have staff already or are considering your very first hire, the decision to onboard new staff requires careful consideration. You need to be absolutely certain that the the real need is indeed for another staff member. There are many other things that feel like you need more help, but if you look closer, you’ll find other solutions. For example, oftentimes clients say that they feel really busy and can’t keep up. Their first thought is for more people. But feeling busy, even really busy, is not always a genuine need for more staff. 

That’s why I’ve put together these 8 questions to ask yourself before hiring a new staff member. They will help you clarify your needs for your business and indicate if you are in fact ready to onboard new people.

  1. Have you systemised your work processes?Are the major processes in your business systemised? Or are you dealing with each task as it comes up? If you have no systems in place, you’re far from operating at your maximum efficiency. This is not the time for you to hire. This is time for you to get systemising.
  2. Are you managing your calendar?If you don’t have your calendar and appointments under control, then do that first. If you can better manage your time, you may find that there is in fact not so big a need for you to hire. Ensure your week is planned in advance and that you have a system for booking and confirming appointments.
  3. What skills do you really need?It’s important to understand the skill deficit that you are trying to fill. Are they skills that you or your current team don’t have? Consider what the top 3 skills are that the new staff member should have. 
  4. Do you fully understand the costs involved?Apart from the obvious costs of wages and superannuation, hiring a new staff member also presents other costs. Firstly there’s  the initial cost of acquiring the new staff member. Then there’s the time you or your team will spend training/onboarding them and the time it will take to get them“up to speed”. Other costs might include equipment they require, additional software user costs, increases to your insurance premiums etc. Itemise all the costs you anticipate you will incur in setting up a new staff member.
  5. Do you know your employer obligations?There are legal requirements you must meet when you employ staff. Do you understand what you as an employer are required to do by law? There are requirements for record keeping of salary and wages as well as workers compensation. Are you familiar with the different types of employment- casual, part-time and full-time and what impact each has? You should visit the business.gov website for all requirements:https://www.business.gov.au/people/hiring/taking-on-an-employee-checklist
  6. Are you willing to make time to nurture staff and their role?You may be thinking you need more help and someone to take a load off, but acquiring staff always creates a certain amount of work as well. The hiring process is only just the beginning. Taking on staff requires a certain level of commitment and time from you to nurture them and their role to really get the most out of them. Do you really want to do that?
  7. Could you outsource instead?If the commitment to nurturing staff is not for you, or you want to avoid the employer obligations, then consider outsourcing. Could you outsource the skills you need rather than taking on an employee? Outsourcing may seem more expensive at first, but you will save on the time on other things such as not needing to spend time managing staff.
  8. Have you established your business vision and values?These two things alone are essential for employees to perform at their best.  Having a clear vision and articulated values also helps you better understand the skills you really need from a new staff member. Vision helps you understand the direction and priorities. The values help you decide what type of person will fit in your business. Being able to communicate both the vision and values to your potential employees also helps them better understand what you’re about. They can then match it to their own value system. This way it’s more likely you’ll find a good fit for the role you need to fill.