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Change can be hard: Here’s how to manage it

If  change is a natural part of our lives then why is it sometimes so hard?

Anyone who has set and attempted to achieve goals knows all  about this. Anyone who ha  tried to break a habit, create a  new  habit,  adjust  to  living  in  a  new  city  or without  someone  you  love…  you know  the challenges  of  change.

Change  is  everywhere  really.  You  just  have  to  look  at  technology  itself  and  how  that  alone  has changed  our  lives  even  just  within  the  last  decade.  There  are  so  many  new  experiences, conveniences  and new  ways  to  connect.  Change  out  there  in  the  world,  with  cool  new  gadgets,  is kind  of  fun  and  exciting. But  change  within  our  own  lives  and  within  ourselves?  It’s often not so fun and exciting for us.

I mean just think about the last time you moved house or changed jobs. Do you have fond memories of that experience? Or did it feel chaotic at best? The  nature  of  change  is  confronting and  when  it’s  on  our own doorstep messing with our routine, our work or our  relationship, it can be a  tough  challenge.

So  why  is  it  so  challenging  for  us?

Well, there are  a few key reasons why we often struggle with change:
Change  alters  our  world
Change  interrupts  how  we  normally  go  about  things  and  how  we  cope with  things  in  the  world. We’re kind  of  knocked  off  our  usual  track  and  it’s,  well,  bumpy.
Change  affects  our  notion  of  who  we  are
Change  challenges  our  beliefs  and  our  closely  held  values. Our  very  concept  of  who  we  are  is therefore  called  into  question.
Change  can  trigger  anxiety
By  its  very  nature  change  will  cause  anxiety  in  most  of  us  but  specifically  it  is  the  effect of  change  on  our  relationships  and  ties  with  others  that  causes  us  to  feel  anxious.
Change  signifies  an  end
Change  is  a  shift-  from  the  old  to  the  new.  It  is  both  a  beginning  and  an  end. Depending  on  the  nature  of  change  this  can  cause  a  sense  of  loss.

So essentially change is a “disruption” of sorts. The well-known, comfortable space becomes unknown and foreign. As I’ve explained previously, our human brains naturally resist change because anything unknown is seen as a threat to our survival. The altering of our world, a shift in our identity scares the heck out of our brains and it therefore sends us some stress (thanks for that brain). The point is, being human means change is going to be challenging with our own brains resisting it.

Here’s how to deal with it:
Accept that it will be challenging. Know that because change is hard, that does NOT mean there’s something wrong with you. Everyone is challenged by change!
Accept that adjusting to change may take a while. I know we all want to just flip a switch and be completely committed to our new habits or adjusted in our new work role. But realistically it takes time. Give yourself time.
Accept that you will fall off the wagon. Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You cope and adjust to the new quite well for a while, then you “regress” back to the old way. Again, this is a normal part of the process. Noone decides to change and does it in one stride! You’ll go back and forth for some time, but if you keep hanging on and moving forward, it will happen!
Have your own back. If change is so challenging then it’s almost like you need a friend to help you on the way. Well, you do.  It’s you who needs to be your best friend in this process. (Although having a  coach or friend encouraging you helps). This does not involve berating yourself when you misstep or letting yourself do whatever your mood dictates. It’s about recognizing what you have achieved and patting yourself on the back. And when you get off track, you just say to yourself “that’s alright, I’ll do better tomorrow” and keep moving forward. Bottom line: Don’t be so hard on yourself.

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Why does your business exist?

Do you know what the purpose of your business is? Why does it actually exist? If the answer you have is something along the lines of “to make money”, then please, read on.

We’re all in it to make money, to support our lifestyles,  our families etc., but ultimately your business should have an overarching purpose. This purpose is essentially your business mission statement.

Whether you create a succinct one-sentence statement, a list of key purposes or a detailed vision board -whatever form it takes- the point is to know why your business exists. Knowing this will provide enormous clarity for both you and your prospective clients. When you can clearly articulate your business purpose to others, it’s easy for prospects to see how you can help them. For example, your business purpose is to help small businesses create their first marketing plan. Knowing this helps you talk easily about your business when networking. You can simply say “I help small businesses to create their first marketing plan”. Immediately that person knows the purpose of your business and how you can help them.

Being clear about your business purpose also helps you as a busy Solopreneur to keep the big picture alive. It’s easy to get bogged down in the details of running your business and the general day-to-day of making ends meet. Having your business purpose in mind reminds you of why you’re doing what you’re doing. This is what will keep you motivated and energized. When the tasks are tedious and the days are long, having your business purpose in mind and focusing on how it will impact others will give you the energy to keep moving forward.

So, what is the purpose of your business?  Write down your answer then review it in a week’s time to see how it sounds and feels. Does it sound like what you’re actually creating in your business right now? When you say the purpose out loud, how do you feel? Excited or uninspired? If it’s an excited and positive feeling, then you’re likely on the right track.

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5 tips to curb shiny object syndrome

The latest marketing advice, the latest productivity hack… that next thing, it’s the new shiny object that can be so intriguing! It offers a potential solution, a new way. It shines bright and evokes possibility. So we stop what we’re doing and follow it, wherever it leads. Often, it leads us off track from what we’re currently doing. If you (like me) can be susceptible to shiny object syndrome and find yourself trying something new before you’ve mastered what you’re already working on, then read on, these tips are for you:

1. Keep your eyes on your own work

If you keep your focus on what’s right in front of you, you’re less likely to get distracted by other things that come up. You can easily create this focus by reviewing your goals and plan every week, at least once. Read over your key outcomes and focus on the step in your goals plan that you are currently working on. This will remind you of the importance of what you’re already doing and keep your eyes focused on your own work.

2. Catch and release

This is a good technique you can easily implement. Often the we don’t want to miss out on the potential that the shiny object may hold, whether it’s a solution or an idea. You can still capture the great idea of that shiny object, but the the key is to “catch and release”. What I mean is, capture the idea by noting it in a Dropbox Paper list and then just let it go. Let it sit in the list and think no more of it. It’s still there, you can come back to it later.

3. Unsubscribe

Take a look at all the emails that hit your inbox each week. Do they all relate to your current goals? Are they teaching you one method or many methods to do one thing? More information is not more power, it’s more confusion. You need to simply. eg. If you’re working on marketing, decide on one marketer or marketing technique to follow and unsubscribe from all other emails on marketing.

4. Embrace monogamy

It’s time to commit to your current shiny object for a specific period of time. We often decide on a course of action and, being human, expect results in a short period of time. When this doesn’t happen, we become doubtful and start believing that other options would be better…and off we go to find a shiny object. You need to give your current shiny object a realistic amount of time to come into fruition before moving on. Set a specific amount of time that you will work on your current course of action to give it a good chance to bring you the results.

5. Finish before you start

How many unfinished tasks do you currently have? Shiny object syndrome can leave behind a trail of unfinished tasks that bank up and clog your office and mental space. Start a new way to work by finishing your task before starting another. This particularly applies to smaller and less time-consuming tasks, rather than the larger projects, but the outcome is the same. By finishing one thing before you start another, you’ll be nipping that shiny object issue in the bud permanently.

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Life happens. Don’t make it mean something bad about you.

Last week I had a bit of a crazy week. It started with an unexpected tooth removal, followed by infection of said tooth (tooth hole?), food poisoning and a flat tyre. It was a week where I had planned to attend 2 networking events and to make some serious progress on my current goals. By day 2 it was clear that not much of that was going to happen.

Have you had such a week? Are you in one now? (*hugs if you are).

At first, I was frustrated. I didn’t want to cancel my attendance to these great events. I didn’t want to take time out of my schedule again for the 4th dentist visit. I didn’t want to have to rest on the couch when I had work piling up everywhere…

I was resisting everything. It wasn’t going “according to plan” and now I have to “waste time” doing all these other things instead of what was on my schedule. (Yes, there was a bit of drama. But, I had tooth pain. That is a valid excuse:)). I felt annoyed, frustrated and then…anxious. My primitive survival brain kicked-in in full force: “I’m falling behind. I’m never going to get this course finished”, “I’m failing. I’m not making any progress” and my favourite “I’m not good enough”.

Wow. What just happened here?

I had a plan (expectations) and that didn’t happen. I expected one thing to happen, but something else did. These are the facts. This is what really happened. The rest is what we call drama. Making an event mean a certain thing. eg. “I’m a failure.” These stories we tell ourselves are just that- stories. You can make them mean something bad or something good.

Here’s the thing: life happens. You lose time or sleep, you miss a deadline, you get sick. Things happen. When things happen you can make it mean that something is wrong with your life, or, you can just take it as it is- a bump in the road, a tooth out, a flat tyre. It’s all part of life.

The moment I stopped resisting all the changes and just went with it, I felt calmer. Accepting things and not resisting creates a whole lot of space and peace of mind. And then what happened? I started thinking “maybe this an opportunity to slow down”, “maybe I just need to rest and go slower at the moment”. Acceptance opened up an opportunity to potentially learn something, allow for other possibilities or stories.

Next time life happens not the way you expected, try just going with it. See how much peace of mind that brings.

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Gain an hour back each day with these 5 tips

1. Batch tasks
Most of the time taken in doing a task is in getting started. Setting up, gathering resources, gathering your thoughts and  your beverage of choice. Once you’ve started writing that report, calling the list of people etc you create momentum. This is the secret power you want to harness- momentum. Eliminate the constant stop-start that makes tasks take longer than they need to by batching tasks. Batch all of your correspondence or calls to be done at the same time, write all the reports you need to for the week at one time. Do all your planning at one time. You get the idea. The key is to do multiples of the exact same task and tasks that require similar skills to keep the momentum flowing.
 
2. Turn off your phone

Did I just say that out loud? Yes, I did. In case you need instructions: Take your index finger and press on the power button and hold… Okay joking aside, this will  change your life. Your phone is your biggest distraction (and yes also a great business tool, but I’ll get to that later). Try turning it off for just 40 minutes. That’s all it takes. See how much you get done in that time. To address the expected resistance against this, let me respond now to your anticipated response… “But my phone is my business, I don’t want to lose a sale” and ” my clients need me, I must be available for them”. You won’t lose a sale, you will call them back. You don’t need to be available 24/7 to give great support to clients. Again, call them back when you’re doing all those batched correspondences!

3. Restrict your meetings

Meetings are necessary and they are important. But you need to reign them in, just a little. Set a specific duration for your meetings and aim to wrap up at that time. Don’t commit to unnecessary meetings. Every meeting should be necessary and have a very clear purpose or outcome.
 
4. Dont check email until midday

Yes, I did it again. Asking you to part ways with technology. I do love technology and it makes our lives more productive and connected…unless it’s taking over your life! Email is the perfect example. Here’s a hard fact: most emails we receive are essentially someone else’s agenda. You don’t want to start the day with some else’s agenda, you want to start with yours. Work on your top 2 goals instead and open email at midday. See how productive you become!

5. Don’t do everything!

What do I mean by that? Don’t complete your work? Expect less from yourself? No. I’m saying everything that you think you need to do, you don’t need to do. Don’t treat all tasks the same because they are not. You need to prioritize what needs to be done and focus on your top 3 priorities, your Power Priorities. This will make the biggest impact and save you time wasted splitting your focus into 10 different tasks.  Do your top 3, then batch the other lesser tasks for later in the day or on a specific day of your week.