The Solopreneur Coach HomepageThe Solopreneur Coach

Header Right

Blog

by

Your checklist for a successful start to 2021

Setting yourself up for a successful year ahead does not have to be complicated or time-consuming. I have created a simple 5-step process that enables you the best start to the year. This process ensures that you build on your success and learnings from the previous year, align your activities with your values and create a system that keeps you on-track for the year.

Step 1 – Review your review
Did you complete a review as I recommended in December last year? If so, get it out and read through it again. If you haven’t done a review of your 2020 year, there is still time. Click here to get started on one now. It takes just a few quality questions to provide you with key learnings and an overview of your outcomes for the year. 2020 was a challenging year on many fronts and for this reason, you will likely have learnt quite a lot. The review will capture this important information and provide a springboard for the next actions you will take to move ahead into 2021.

Step 2 – Highlight your key learnings & required actions
A review is not a process to be completed and then set aside. Your answers to the review questions are incredibly valuable and you should absolutely utilise them in your early planning for 2021. Start by looking at your review answers and make a note of the key learnings. These learnings could be what you learnt about yourself, your work or the way in which you work. Certainly note what did and didn’t work for the year. Next you want to note the actions that need to take place to move you forward. This is where you tap into the power of the review, it can act as the springboard to move you forward. What do you need more of in 2021? What 1 thing do you need to change in 2021? The answers to these two questions will create some basic actions that you can build on.

Step 3 – Check in with your values
Do you have a list of your personal values? Are you even aware of what your values are? Your personal values are the intrinsic foundation to your experience of wellbeing and fulfillment. In other words, if you want to experience wellbeing and fulfillment, you simply must live in alignment with your values. Values by their very nature will shift and evolve as you do, most particularly when you have experienced changes in your life. As 2020 was the year of change, make sure you check-in with your values to assess if they have changed.

Step 4 – Set your SMART goals
What outcomes do you want in your personal and professional life this year? What changes would you like to make? Express these outcomes as a Specific, Measured, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound goals.

Step 5 – Set your tracking system
Did you know that the main reason for goal non-achievement is simply just “getting off track”? Most goals require you to engage in new habits, new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking. Acquiring a new habit takes practice until our brains have created a well-worn neural pathway and the task feels more natural. The key to habit formation is staying on track long enough to establish this familiarity with the new habit. Your habit building solution is therefore to set up a tracking system. If you track your habit you ensure that you maintain it more consistently for a longer period of time until it becomes easier. It’s natural to “get off track” when starting a new habit, so this system is the key to your success. Check out my tracking system here.

Follow these 5 steps and you will be ensuring that you give yourself and your goals the best opportunity for success in 2021.

Like this post? Sign up here for my fortnightly Coaching email.

by

7 simple ways to create certainty

As challenging as these times may be, most of us still have ultimate control over our lives.The problem is that right now, it doesn’t feel like it.

You may feel tired and completely thrown off course by the events of this year.

Maybe you’re even confused about your purpose, your business, your life.
Or perhaps you’re just sick of feeling stuck and unable to plan for the future.

That’s okay. These feelings are a normal human reaction to all of the upheaval we’ve experienced. You are definitely not alone in these feelings!

However, if you’re sick of feeling so uncertain, then keep reading because I’d like to share with you 7 simple ways that will help you feel more certain.

Because the truth is, you can create certainty for yourself on a daily basis. 

You may not be able to change what’s going on out there in the world but you can most certainly rule your own world!

You can use these strategies to easily increase the feeling of certainty in your life.

Many of them are small things that you can start right now, today. The great things is that you don’t have to do all 7, but of course, the more you can incorporate into your routine, the better.

Strategy 1: Have a plan
When we don’t have a plan, we drift with the wind and more significantly we don’t feel in control of our destiny. You can make a plan in uncertain times. Yes, you can. You may need to review it in a few month’s time to see if it’s still relevant, but you still should make the plan now.

Strategy 2: Make decisions
Again, one quick way to start to feel more in control of your world is to make decisions. Allowing yourself to stay in indecision because you’re “not sure what will happen” or “don’t have enough information” does not serve you. It will create more uncertainty. Even if you don’t want to decide something now, you can still decide to get further information and review it in a month with a view to making the decision then. Do you get where I’m going here? It prevents you from going back and forth over the “will I or won’t I” that makes us all feel so powerless. You can instead decide to forget about it for a month, get more info and then decide. Or, decide now.

Strategy 3: Take action- small things count
The idea is to think small here. Can you clean out one drawer in your home or office? Can you do one task on your to-do list? Taking small actions in a positive direction make a big difference. In particular de-cluttering will give you a sense of control over your environment. Just remember to do small bits at a time to avoid overwhelm.

Strategy 4: Strengths and gratitude
Gratitude helps you to look for what you already have and to acknowledge it. This helps you to see that you do actually have what you need. Focusing on this at least once a day and seeking out your personal strengths will assist in keeping the uncertainty at bay.

Strategy 5: Daily practices to anchor you
What habits or rituals have an anchoring effect for you? These are the practices that rejuvinate you or keep you focused and feeling in control or confident and secure. Is it keeping up an exercise routine? Chanting, prayers, meditation? Patting your cat? Whatever restores you and gives you a sense of being in-control and secure can become an anchor for you on a daily basis.

Strategy 6: Boundaries – fear mongering and media
Use your boundaries. Don’t allow in too much uncertainty from other people(family included) and the news/social media. Stay informed but don’t let them tell you how uncertain or worried you must feel. Limit your daily intake of news to avoid feelings of overwhelm and anxiety driven by what is mostly bad news.

Strategy 7: Re-frame the situationYes it’s been a challenging year and even at times quite a confronting one. Things seem to be shifting and life is not what it was 6 months ago. Sure, but try asking yourself these questions to re-frame this current situation:
What are some good things that have come out of this?
If there was an opportunity right now for me, what might it be?
What have I learnt about my real values in the last few months?

These strategies work and they will make a difference right away, so do start as soon as you can. It’s best to try implementing one or two for a week and maintain consistency with those first. Then you can add more as you like.

If you liked this post, sign up for my fortnightly Coaching Email.

by

Should you believe all of your thoughts?

So, I thought I’d pose an important and interesting question to you today.

Should you believe all of your thoughts?

What do you think?
Do you think you should 100% believe every thought that pops into your mind? What about the conclusions you have about a long term friend or that person you just met?

You see our thoughts are actually not facts.

Most often our thoughts are an opinion or an interpretation. Many of them are habits. Yes, we often think the same thoughts and have the same conclusions. And guess what? They are still not facts, no matter how often you’ve thought them. But that’s just it, isn’t it?

Thoughts that we have had on a regular basis over the course of our life are often accepted as facts. We think what we think is the truth. 

But, it’s not.

Thoughts are not facts.

This is not a bad thing. I am not saying that we are all liars or are completely deluded. But I am saying that you need to be aware of what you’re thinking and ask for evidence on a regular basis.

Let’s look at an example of how our thoughts are really an interpretation of a situation:
Fact: My boss has not openly praised my work in a long time.
Thought: “My boss doesn’t value me”.
There could be many reasons why your boss has not openly praised you in a long time, and most of them have nothing to do with you. Think about it.
Your boss is busy, self-absorbed, going through a rough time, not good at praising others, is distracted, is stressed… 

The point is, there are many interpretations of the facts, but our minds usually create one and stick with it. It’s not a fact, it’s a story or an interpretation.

If you have a thought that is creating negativity for you or keeping you feeling “stuck”, try asking for some evidence:
“What evidence is there for this thought?”
And secondly, “does this thought serve me?”

These questions will open up the possibility of other interpretations. They will create space around what could be an assumption, a long-standing story you’ve been telling yourself.

Try it. See what happens.

by

3 things influencing your thinking right now

  • 3 things that are influencing your thinking right now.

If there is one thing that this pandemic world has taught us, it is the value of our mental health. For many of us it is the first time that we are experiencing a sense of uncertainty, disruption and confusion on such a large scale and across multiple facets of our lives. With such disruption we are all more vulnerable to experiencing stress and mental health challenges. Today I’d like to share with you the 3 things that are influencing your thinking right now.

The act of creating awareness of what is influencing your thoughts right now is so important. The thoughts we keep thinking are creating our emotions and our experience of the current circumstances.
This is not about thinking positive thoughts and ignoring the bad things happening. 

This is about creating awareness that in turn creates space for choice.

You can choose what you feed your mind and what you focus on. You can make changes when you’re aware of what isn’t helping you.

Let’s get started!

Likely the biggest influence on your thinking at the moment is the media. News about the pandemic, social media and all those statistical updates are beating down the door all day long. We are particularly vulnerable at the moment because we are hoping for a breakthrough and also fearing the worst. This means we check the news more often because we hope to hear good news and we hope we don’t hear worse news. We’re in flight or flight mode and our survival instincts are kicking in.

The impact: Media exacerbates fear and uncertainty. If we are hoping for a positive change, we feel the disappointment each time the news does not deliver it. You can also feel overwhelmed with the scale of influence of this pandemic in conjunction with other world events.

What to do: Limit your intake of news from all sources (including social media) to a set time each day. Perhaps 10 minutes in the morning and night. The key here is to create boundaries. It’s easy to keep checking all day for updates but doing that is incredibly unhelpful and often damaging to our mental health. 

The next big influence on your thinking right now is physical detachment. Many of us are working from home or are in different work circumstances. Our normal hobbies may be interrupted and certainly travel has been restricted. The number of people you see and interact with in-person on a daily basis is significantly reduced. The networks we all felt a part of at work and in our after work activities have dissolved or are disrupted.

The impact: Many of us are feeling isolated and some of us are experiencing loneliness. Our support networks are disrupted which increases these feelings of isolation. If you live with your partner/family, they have assumed the role of friend, colleague, partner, confidant. If you live alone you may feel increased feelings of isolation and a sense of having to face it all on your own.

What to do: As many of our interactions have fallen away due to isolation, you need to have a plan to create interactions. It doesn’t have to be complex at all. Set yourself a minimum social contact goal to chat to at least 2 friends or family members each week. Make one of those interactions via video or phone as this will generate more feelings of connection. Who can you safely meet in person? Schedule a walk/ coffee chat/ brunch with a friend while being mindful of social distancing. 

The third influence on your thinking right now is what I like to call change fallout. Change – even small change- has a big impact on us as human beings. Therefore large scale change has a huge impact. Even if you’re not feeling it on the surface and you are able to generally manage your days, you are still being affected (so be mindful). 

The impact: Change is tiring, perhaps exhausting at times. You can feel emotions ranging from a little nervousness and anxiety through to feeling completely lost. You may not feel like yourself. You might feel like something is wrong. And because of this your thinking can spiral into some negative self talk such as “I should be managing it better” or “what’s wrong with me?”

What to do: When your physical and/or mental energy is reduced, do less. Simplify, simplify, simplify. When you have energy then you can resume your to-do list. This may fluctuate as the weeks roll on and that’s okay. Have a self-care plan. You must be doing at least 2-3 activities each week that will bring you rest, calm/peace of mind. This is different for everyone but some examples include: exercise, relaxing with a book/Netflix, creating special rituals that help you stay grounded, meditation, time with nature/pets. Implement self care practices for the long term, not just for the times when you feel that you need it.

Did you find this post interesting? Subscribe to my weekly Coaching Email here.

by

5 tips for managing change better

So much change in so little time. Surely this is the tagline for 2020? By now we’ve all been weather beaten into submission with all the constantly moving parts. No longer fighting against the tide of change (at least I hope you’re still not doing that) we’re now in some form of acceptance that things will continue to change and be a little crazy for at least the rest of the  year and likely next.

And herein lies the challenge: more change ahead. So how do we even navigate the next 6 months (which will feel like 8 months)? We need to learn to manage change. Whether change is something you are choosing for yourself or something that has been unceremoniously thrust upon you, you need to pro-actively manage it.

Change is hard and it doesn’t come natural to any of us. Our brains are wired to resist it. Without proactive management frequent change on a large scale can create much stress, anxiety and feelings of being out of control.

So let me share with you 5 ways that you can better manage change over the coming months:

  1. Accept it’s a challenging time

We are currently experiencing change and disruption to our routines and way of life on a huge scale. It’s a difficult time for everyone. When it’s a difficult time, things feel harder. It’s tiring. You may feel stressed. You may oscilate between feeling engaged and then wanting to retreat from the world. That is to be expected because it’s a challenging time. Change requires adjustment and takes time. Accept it is difficult and believe that you are navigating it as best you can.

  1. Simplify

This is one of the best techniques to apply, with immediate results. When COVID-19 hit I did exactly this and it helped a lot! Look at everything that you have on your to-do list including your goals and general responsibilities (personal admin, housework etc.). Decide which things you can delay (push your deadline back), delegate or delete altogether. Trying do it all while navigating the change process will only exacerbate the stress and overwhelm. Simplify by reducing your responsibilities in your work and personal life.

  1. Allow more time for the adjustment to occur

Most of us would prefer that we have a certain established amount of time and at the end of that time, the change process is complete, such as having an end date for this pandemic. We all want it to be nice, neat and predictable. Mostly we just want it to take as little as time as possible. But there is no way to speed this process up unfortunately. When you focus on the end result you want and resist your present circumstances it causes you stress.  You are resisting what is and wanting it to be different(you are“arguing with reality” as Byron Katie says). Ask yourself: Can you accept that it will take a long time? How can you shift your focus to the present moment?

  1. Expect it to be messy

Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You may cope and adjust to a new situation well for a while, but then you seem to“regress” back to the old way of thinking and being. This is a normal part of the process. But often this is when we all feel like we’ve failed or that something is wrong with us. I assure you that it is normal to be feeling up and down as you adjust to change.

  1. Have your own back. 

Moving through change will require more time and energy from you. It can be unsettling, frustrating and tiring. It’s important to therefore have your own back. Work with yourself and not against yourself. You can do this in a number of ways: 1. By becoming aware of any negative thoughts about your situation. Remind yourself that this is a process and will take time. 2. Support yourself as you would support a good friend in their time of need. Cut yourself some slack, reassure yourself that you are doing your best. 3. Engage in self care activities. Give yourself the things you need to rejuvenate your energy (exercise, sleep, yoga, good food, water, a day trip etc).