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You CAN make plans and you SHOULD

I’ve been hearing the declaration “I can’t make plans” a lot lately. This is usually followed by an explanation that, clearly in this time of uncertainty, “it’s just not possible to plan ahead”.

Bullocks.

Not only is it possible, it is now more important than ever!

As a leader(and most people reading this are) you must still have a plan. Your team, your employees, your family, yourself all want you to have a plan. They will not say this out loud perhaps. They may even scoff at the notion of planning when the world will likely be upside down again by next week. But so what? 

Plans change. All the time. Not just in times of uncertainty. I’m sure you’ve had many plans and projects where you’ve set out on one course and ended up changing it more than once to get to your destination. 

It’s okay I do get it. I understand that things are changing more often and it feels like nothing can be certain.But when is anything ever certain? And why should that stop you from moving forward, from leading however best you can with what you have?

Here is how it works. You consult the current information about the landscape you and your business/team find yourself in. You may also consult with others around you. Then based on the information you have now, you make a decision on a course of action. The point is, you must make decisions about your strategy and run with that model so long as it’s viable.

When we stop making decisions become inert, we feel powerless. Those around us, who look to us for leadership, get confused and apathetic. Now is the time when your leadership is needed more than ever.
Whether you’re leading a team, a company, a family or yourself – all are important. Don’t stop making decisions and taking action. Just adjust some other things…

Yes, you will need to adjust your expectations.
You may have to change the plan again when you have new information. But that’s good right? You want to making decisions with the best and most up-to-date knowledge.

You will need to be flexible.
Holding on too tightly to your plan is not a winning strategy. Goals are always meant to be guideposts and you while you still continue to look to your destination, be a little flexible with how you get there and how long it takes.

You will need to review your plan.
Of course it goes without saying that you will make a plan and also a plan to review it in a month’s time (or week’s time..).

All of these three things work together: adjust your expectations, stay flexible on your path and review regularly. Apply this approach and you can make any plan right now.


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Is this the missing piece to your wellbeing?

Recently I’ve had the urge to try some new things. Not big things, just small ones. Lots of small ones. New recipes for dinner, new cafes to be in, new blogs to read. I acquired (or renewed?) an interest in Ancient History and became very dedicated to making every curry in my beloved vegan Indian cookbook.

I started to wonder at this new inclination for something different, but as it started about the same time as we’d been in lockdown for weeks… the answer was clear.

I’m needing a change. I’m seeking something different.

And this makes sense right? We’re living and working in the same place, seeing the same people and as a result we’re experiencing less variety.
There is no novelty, so we start to create novel things to do or incorporate into our routine. This explains the sudden interest in baking by many people during lockdown.

So, being curious, I did a bit of reading and discovered that we all actually need novelty for our wellbeing. 

Research has found that experiencing something new (in a safe way- where our brain does not detect a threat) activates the pleasure centres of the brain. We actually get a dopamine hit. And this need for novelty is not just important for now, during these challenging times, but is in fact a fundamental part of our general wellbeing.

I must say that this made sense to me instantly and I’m sure you’ll relate too. It’s when we stop experiencing new things and seeking out new learnings, trying anything new, that we get a bit stale and sometimes stuck. Don’t get me wrong, we certainly need routine and structure but what we also need is a sprinkle of novelty. 

So how much novelty are you creating for yourself?

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5 fixes for feeling stuck

At one time or another we’ve all felt stuck. Our momentum grinds to a halt and we find ourselves procrastinating about what to do next. Or, as in recent times, a multitude of changes and destabilisation erupt in your life.

Often it’s a case of overwhelm. There are just too many things to think of, too many moving parts. We lose our focus or aim and we end up in a kind of holding pattern. It can also happen when you experience uncertainty or lose confidence and therefore stop making decisions.

The longer we stay in this holding pattern, the more we feel we will never get out of it. The key is to recognise it and then immediately apply one or more of these 5 fixes:

Ask yourself: If I was assuming something about this situation, what might that be?
Asking quality questions will always open up ideas and opportunities. It’s what I mostly do as a coach and I will happily share with you the best questions I use. This is one of them. Asking what you’re assuming will re-frame your situation. You will be able to view it differently. eg. If you were in a situation trying to decide between two course of action, asking this question will help you to understand your unconscious assumptions about the situations. You may be assuming that one course of action is hard or expensive. You may be assuming that someone won’t agree to your request etc. 

Ask your future self
I love this practice. Asking your future self is a very powerful tool that you can use not just to get you unstuck but to guide you throughout your journey. It’s a simple as imaging that you are at your end goal. You have achieved what you set out to achieve. Imagine that version of yourself and ask them for advice. Sounds a little strange at first, but it’s kind of like asking your wiser self. If you already had achieved the goal and were looking back to right now, what would you advise yourself to do.

Revisit your values
We can often get stuck when we feel that all directions or decisions are equally weighed. Going back to basics and revisting your values will help with this. You have a values list, right? (If not, check out my blog post here about it) If you see your situation and choices through your values, it will be easier to start to move forward. It will make it clear to you what is truly important.

Change of scene
Sometimes it’s a case of getting perspective. Once you’re in that holding pattern and overthinking about what to do but you’re not doing anything, it can be good to just escape. You need to step outside of the zone you’re working in and look inwards, rather than be in the middle of it trying to find the way. I always find that a day trip to a different city or town helps.Getting away from our“roles” is important. Go somewhere noone knows you and you can just be you, not you the business owner, wife/husband, parent, manager etc. You’ll be surprised by the effect. You’ll likely get  a new perspective or idea that will make all the difference.

What is the best case scenario
We’re all familiar with best and worst case scenario evaluations. Have you ever weighed up a decision using only the best case scenario, for both options? If you’re stuck on a decision, look at each option separately and imagine the absolute best case scenario. What is the ideal outcome? What would you be doing? How would you feel? Imagine the absolute best case scenario for both options and then go with what feels best. Remember, don’t consider the worst case scenario at all. Just look at the absolute best for both options.

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7 ways to create certainty

As challenging as these times may be, most of us still have ultimate control over our lives. Yes, there are certain restrictions that have been imposed on us because of the COVID-19 global pandemic but we are technically still very much holding the reigns here. 

The problem is that a lot of the time, it doesn’t feel like it.

And if you read too much media, you are likely convinced that you are not in control at all and this moment of uncertainty is here to stay. You will forever be uncertain.

Not true.

You can create certainty on a daily basis for yourself.

And not by changing the world outside. None of that has to change. I have been working on this and personally implementing these ideas to create my own sense of certainty over the last few months. It helps. It works.
You may not be able to change what’s going on out there in the world but you can rule your own world. You can take control and create certainty in your own life.

I want to share with you 7 strategies you can use to easily increase the feeling of certainty in your life. Many of them are small things that you can start right now, today. The great things is that you don’t have to do all 7, but of course, the more you can incorporate into your routine, the better.

Strategy 1: Have a plan
When we don’t have a plan, we drift with the wind and more significantly we don’t feel in control of our destiny. You can make a plan in uncertain times. Yes, you can. You may need to review it in a few month’s time to see if it’s still relevant, but you still should make the plan now.

Strategy 2: Make decisions
Again, one quick way to start to feel more in control of your world is to make decisions. Allowing yourself to stay in indecision because you’re“not sure what will happen” or“don’t have enough information” does not serve you. It will create more uncertainty. Even if you don’t want to decide something now, you can still decide to get further information and review it in a month with a view to making the decision then. Do you get where I’m going here? It prevents you from going back and forth over the“will I or won’t I” that makes us all feel so powerless. You can instead decide to forget about it for a month, get more info and then decide. Or, decide now.

Strategy 3: Take action- small things count
The idea is to think small here. Can you clean out one drawer in your home or office? Can you do one task off your to-do list? Taking small actions in a positive direction make a big difference. In particular de-cluttering will give you a sense of control over your environment. Just remember to do small bits at a time to avoid overwhelm.

Strategy 4: Strengths and gratitude
Gratitude helps you to look for what you already have and to acknowledge it. This helps you to see that you do actually have what you need. Focusing on this at least once a day and seeking out your personal strengths will assist in keeping the uncertainty at bay.

Strategy 5: Daily practices to anchor you
What habits or rituals have an anchoring effect for you?
These are the practices that rejuvinate you or keep you focused and feeling in control or confident and secure. Is it keeping up an exercise routine? Chanting, prayers, meditation? Patting your cat? Whatever restores you and gives you a sense of being  in control and secure can become an anchor for you on a daily basis.

Strategy 6: Boundaries- fear mongering and media
Use your boundaries. Don’t allow in too much uncertainty from other people(family included) and the news/social media. Stay informed but don’t let them tell you how uncertain or worried you must feel. 

Strategy 7: Re-frame the situation
Yes it’s been challenging and even at times confronting. Things seem to be shifting and life is not what it was 6 months ago. Sure, but try asking yourself these questions to re-frame this current situation:
What are some good things that have come out of this?
If there was an opportunity right now for me, what might it be?
What have I learnt about my real values in the last few months?

These strategies work and they will make a difference right away, so do start as soon as you can. Maybe try to implement one or two for a week and maintain consistency with those first. Then you can add more as you like.

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Why change and uncertainty is SO hard (for everyone)

One thing we’ve all been getting a lot of lately is change. On the work front, at home, in our community and relationships, we’ve recently all experienced an unprecedented amount of change. If you’re still adjusting to things, you’re not alone.  Change is often unsettling and challenging during the initial change process and after, while we’re still adjusting.

So why is change so hard?

It mostly comes down to the human brain and it’s priorities. Our brain’s job is to keep us alive. That’s its focus. It’s all about survival. This is a good thing, obviously. It keeps us out of harms way, it’s constantly assessing threats and clearing a safe path for us. Yay for that.

Our brains are also prioritising efficiency. The brain always wants to be efficient. So if it’s been done before, our brains love it, it can do it again (nothing new for it to do).

Cue global pandemic with threat to life, livelihood and changes across all facets of your routine… and sure enough, our brains are overloaded.

Our brains are now processing a lot more stimuli because much of what we’ve been seeing and doing is new. That means it’s sorting a lot of new data and determining if it’s a threat or not.  Secondly, all this new stuff we have to do (new routine for work, home, sanitising hands and environments) is just that – new. And new things require new neural pathways, so that means definitely NO chance of the brain going on autopilot.

The result? Tiredness, stress, confusion, anxiety…

(It’s a lot to take on in a short time. If you don’t have a self care routine, check out my recent blog post on this:)

So, change is hard because our brains want certainty, familiarity and efficiency. And all this change is bringing unfamiliarity, uncertainty and
starting from scratch. And guess what? We’re all in it together. All human brains are going through this. 

Let me share a few more reasons why change is hard(for everyone):

An attachment or emotional connection is disrupted
Change creates a shift from one thing to another. The thing you left behind (situation or person) can be felt as a loss. At the very least there is a disconnect from that old situation in order to move to the new.

You experience challenging emotions more often
If you haven’t already experienced this, then good luck to you, my friend! As we explained, the brain wants to keep us safe and we’re now in the midst of a global pandemic… you can see why the brain might slip into fight or flight mode. This can bring up anger, anxiety and fear. Certainly plenty of emotions to manage and process.

Your self and world view change, your values change
Change can shift our perspective and consequently our values. This is big. Our whole view of the world and our place in it can change dramatically because of change that occurs in our lives. Our whole values system can be affected.

We don’t understand the change process
We don’t know why we’re feeling so tired, stressed and vulnerable. If we realise that this is part of the process of change and adjustment, it’s slightly easier to deal with. And if we know others are experiencing something similar, then that helps too.

We have unrealistic expectations
“Okay, so we’ve been working from home for months, so why is it still hard? Why do I feel unsettled and like I don’t know what’s happening really?” Because we have unrealistic expectations about change. In short, we expect change to be pleasant, easy and short. It is mostly the opposite of that. But that’s not a bad thing! It’s challenging, yes. But it’s also a journey. A journey that requires you to be flexible and pack some resilience into your rucksack. If you can embrace change as an ongoing evolution rather than something you want over and done with asap, you’ll travel a lot easier down the road of change.

All in all, there’s nothing wrong if you feel unsettled, like you’re struggling to find your feet. This is the rockiness of the road of change. Try accepting it as it is. Put on your comfy shoes and choose to just keep walking anyway.

And remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together.