As you are a consumer of personal development content, then you’re most likely also aware that much of the noise is all about how to become successful. In every article or blog you are offered tips, formulas and breakthrough techniques. And yes, in this post I too offer some ideas (guilty).
But, there are a few problems with this idea of the pursuit of success.
When we read articles about creating success, we’re thinking about success as a destination most of the time. As if someday, we will arrive there on our yacht, sipping champagne and smiling for the world to see. Sounds nice, but…
Success is not a destination. Because once we achieve a certain goal, we are quickly then on to the next thing. We are always growing, so the idea of reaching success at a singular point is illusory.
But more significant than this even, is the assumption most of us are making.
We are assuming that when we are “successful” then we will also be fulfilled. We assume that the hole within us of “not-enoughness” will be gone when we are successful.
Sorry, bad news: Success does not equal fulfillment.
Don’t get me wrong, you can be successful and fulfilled. But understand this distinction:
You cannot expect that your success will also bring fulfillment. They are two very different things.
You cannot pursue success as if it were the answer to your fulfillment.
You can pursue success at an endeavour for what the challenges will make of you. Being successful in that endeavour will be cause for celebration at achieving a goal. But fulfillment is up to you and is independent of your goal achievements and failures.
Have a think about it. Are you expecting success to make you feel better about yourself? Make you feel more confident? Will you feel worthy after you achieve that big goal?
Then, you are seeking fulfillment in a place you cannot find it. Success cannot fill that hole, you must learn to develop your own experience of fulfillment.