If change is a natural part of our lives then why is it sometimes so hard?
Anyone who has set and attempted to achieve goals knows all about this. Anyone who has tried to break a habit, create a new habit, adjust to living in a new city or without someone you love… you know the challenges of change.
I mean just think about the last time you moved house or changed jobs. Do you have fond memories of that experience? Or did it feel chaotic at best? The nature of change is unsettling especially when it’s on our own doorstep messing with our routine, our work or our relationship!
It can feel like a big challenge!
So why do we all find it so challenging?
Here are a few key reasons why most of us struggle with change:
Change alters our world
Change interrupts how we normally go about things and how we cope with things in the world. We’re kind of knocked off our usual track and it’s, well, bumpy. Instead of doing things the way we’ve always done them, we’re having to do it differently and our brains don’t like that. It takes us longer to do it and requires more cognitive effort. So change is making it literally challenging for our brains to adjust to the new way of doing things.
Change affects our notion of who we are
Change challenges our beliefs and our closely held values. This is really the major shake-up for most of us after experiencing a loss of some sort. Whether it was a break-up or death of someone you love, such a big change really shifts our beliefs and values. When this happens, our very concept of who we are is called into question.
Change can trigger anxiety
Change within our relationships and ties with others is the most unsettling. When these close bonds are disrupted or torn apart, it causes most of us to feel anxious. When the sense of attachment or belonging is threatened or lost, it will trigger anxiety in all of us humans because we all want acceptance and love. This need is primal and goes back to the way our brains are wired. So there’s no escaping this one- sorry!
Change signifies an end
Change is a shift from the old to the new. It is both a beginning and an end.Depending on the nature of change, this can cause a sense of loss. If you’ve felt yourself pining for or reminiscing about the past… that’s all to do with dealing with an ending. Of course the reality is, we can’t have a new beginning without an end. So an end can always be be viewed as an opportunity to begin again.