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May 28, 2018 by solopreneurcoach

Change can be hard: Here’s how to manage it

If  change is a natural part of our lives then why is it sometimes so hard?

Anyone who has set and attempted to achieve goals knows all  about this. Anyone who ha  tried to break a habit, create a  new  habit,  adjust  to  living  in  a  new  city  or without  someone  you  love…  you know  the challenges  of  change.

Change  is  everywhere  really.  You  just  have  to  look  at  technology  itself  and  how  that  alone  has changed  our  lives  even  just  within  the  last  decade.  There  are  so  many  new  experiences, conveniences  and new  ways  to  connect.  Change  out  there  in  the  world,  with  cool  new  gadgets,  is kind  of  fun  and  exciting. But  change  within  our  own  lives  and  within  ourselves?  It’s often not so fun and exciting for us.

I mean just think about the last time you moved house or changed jobs. Do you have fond memories of that experience? Or did it feel chaotic at best? The  nature  of  change  is  confronting and  when  it’s  on  our own doorstep messing with our routine, our work or our  relationship, it can be a  tough  challenge.

So  why  is  it  so  challenging  for  us?

Well, there are  a few key reasons why we often struggle with change:
Change  alters  our  world
Change  interrupts  how  we  normally  go  about  things  and  how  we  cope with  things  in  the  world. We’re kind  of  knocked  off  our  usual  track  and  it’s,  well,  bumpy.
Change  affects  our  notion  of  who  we  are
Change  challenges  our  beliefs  and  our  closely  held  values. Our  very  concept  of  who  we  are  is therefore  called  into  question.
Change  can  trigger  anxiety
By  its  very  nature  change  will  cause  anxiety  in  most  of  us  but  specifically  it  is  the  effect of  change  on  our  relationships  and  ties  with  others  that  causes  us  to  feel  anxious.
Change  signifies  an  end
Change  is  a  shift-  from  the  old  to  the  new.  It  is  both  a  beginning  and  an  end. Depending  on  the  nature  of  change  this  can  cause  a  sense  of  loss.

So essentially change is a “disruption” of sorts. The well-known, comfortable space becomes unknown and foreign. As I’ve explained previously, our human brains naturally resist change because anything unknown is seen as a threat to our survival. The altering of our world, a shift in our identity scares the heck out of our brains and it therefore sends us some stress (thanks for that brain). The point is, being human means change is going to be challenging with our own brains resisting it.

Here’s how to deal with it:
Accept that it will be challenging. Know that because change is hard, that does NOT mean there’s something wrong with you. Everyone is challenged by change!
Accept that adjusting to change may take a while. I know we all want to just flip a switch and be completely committed to our new habits or adjusted in our new work role. But realistically it takes time. Give yourself time.
Accept that you will fall off the wagon. Change is not a straight line from one way of being to another. If you graphed it it’d probably be a zigzag. You cope and adjust to the new quite well for a while, then you “regress” back to the old way. Again, this is a normal part of the process. Noone decides to change and does it in one stride! You’ll go back and forth for some time, but if you keep hanging on and moving forward, it will happen!
Have your own back. If change is so challenging then it’s almost like you need a friend to help you on the way. Well, you do.  It’s you who needs to be your best friend in this process. (Although having a  coach or friend encouraging you helps). This does not involve berating yourself when you misstep or letting yourself do whatever your mood dictates. It’s about recognizing what you have achieved and patting yourself on the back. And when you get off track, you just say to yourself “that’s alright, I’ll do better tomorrow” and keep moving forward. Bottom line: Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: change, habits, solopreneur

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